More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

The number of overweight children has increased tremendously within developed nations.

This

is an extremely serious

problem

which is caused by a number of factors

such

as poor diet and affects both the children and the society. One of the causes of overweight among children is poor diet. Children are exposed to unhealthy processed food

such

as fast foods which mainly contain sugar, fat and salt. Research has proven that consuming these foods tend to increase appetite which leads to overeating and overeating is directly linked to overweight. Another cause of overweight

problem

among children is the lack of physical exercise. Physical exercise is very important as it enables children to transform calories from food into useful energy.

This

is very essential because without it the calories from food will be stored as fat within

the

Suggestion

The

body which will eventually lead to overweight. There are several effects

as a result

of children of overweight.

Firstly

children overweight

Accept comma addition

children, overweight

can lead to slow brain development

as a result

of lack of proper nutrients that facilitate growth.

This

is a

problem

because

such

children will be unable to fully participate in their classes which can lead to isolation.

In addition

children overweight

Accept comma addition

children, overweight

can lead to low energy levels and low self-esteem.

Moreover

, another effect of overweight if not tackled often leads to obesity. Obesity is linked to various diseases

such

as diabetes, high blood pressure and high

cholesterol which

Accept comma addition

cholesterol, which

can cause irreversible damage in a child’s life. In conclusion,

children overweight

Accept comma addition

children, overweight

is a serious

problem

that can lead to low energy levels, poor

selfesteem

Suggestion

self esteem

and various health diseases if it is not solved.

Submitted by ntake98 on Wed May 22 2019

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
sedentary
caloric intake
processed foods
fast food culture
screen time
metabolic disorders
healthcare expenditure
lifestyle diseases
preventative strategies
nutritional education
public health policy
body mass index (BMI)
emotional well-being
stigmatization
exercise regimen
eating habits
junk food
socioeconomic factors
health literacy

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Alternative energy sources that use the natural power of the wind, wave and sun are too expensive and complicated to replace the coal, oil and gas that we use to power our cities and transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that governments should do more to make their citizens eat a healthy diet. Others believe that individuals must take responsibility for their own diet and health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that finding a job satisfaction is considered the most important thing for the young generation nowadays. Do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly pepole.