#1 A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

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Although

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there are problems associated with

tourism

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, in my opinion, there are many positive outcomes of

tourism

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Tourism

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provides highly profitable employment opportunities to people in many poor countries,

for example

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, Nepal, Tanzania, and Guatemala considering their currency rates.

In addition

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tourism

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introduces the tasty cuisines to local communities of that visited country.

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, in Los Angeles, there are a lot of authentic Spanish restaurants that bring appetizing Hispanic dishes.

Moreover

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, travellers from other countries can mingle with locals very easily by learning basic expressions.

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, non-English speaking Chinese

tourists

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can use some user-friendly translator services to manage talking to English speakers for day-to-day basic activities like ordering food. The influx of

tourists

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in many popular destinations causes nightmares to some government authorities with city management.

Firstly

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, traffic congestion arises as too many tourist vehicles occupy the roads during peak travel hours. So

this

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causes city councils to employ more patrols.

Secondly

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due to

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a lot of

tourists

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crossing borders, it’s hard for immigration officers to investigate each and every traveller.

Due to

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a lack of time and staff during security checks, some people with the intention of causing harm can enter the country.

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, many peaceful places where people go for de-stressing can get crowded and the peaceful nature of that place is spoiled

such

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as Machu Picchu in Peru which is always crowded with

tourists

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. In conclusion, the positive aspects of

tourism

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in terms of employment opportunities and cultural adaptation outweigh all the negative aspects in relation to traffic congestion, public security, and serenity of a popular destination.

ruchix2006Mon Feb 26 2024

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task achievement

Expand on your examples by providing more in-depth analysis or data to support your points. While you've used examples effectively, a deeper exploration of these examples could enhance the argument and provide a more persuasive essay.

coherence cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structures and using transitions more effectively to improve the flow of ideas. While your essay has a good structure, using a wider range of sentence types and connective phrases can make the text more engaging and cohesive.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, clearly outline your main points in the introduction and ensure each body paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Use topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

For a higher score, work on developing a more nuanced thesis statement that acknowledges the complexity of the issue. This will allow for a richer exploration of the topic throughout your essay.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sustainable tourism
ecotourism
heritage sites
hospitality industry
tourist influx
cultural commodification
ecological footprint
economic diversification
carrying capacity
cultural sensitivity
destination marketing
travel advisories
visitor management
impact assessment
tourism revenues
authentic experience
visitor satisfaction
conservation efforts
seasonal fluctuation
social sustainability

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