People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns?

#people #cities #face #life #government #move #towns

It is often argued that people have to deal with many issues when living in big cities. Two main problems are

air

pollution and petty

crime

because they really affect the quality of people’s lives. To my mind, those people should be encouraged to move to regional areas. The increase in the amount of polluted

air

recently has created huge concerns of people in big cities. Due to

traffic tram

Accept comma addition

traffic, tram

, motored engines

such

as bikes and cars are likely to release more smoke and gas which decrease the

air

quality.

As a result

, people feel unpleasant and find hardly to breath when participating in

transportation

Suggestion

the transportation

Moreover

, they can easily get health problems

such

as lung diseases.

Similarly

, petty

crime

such

as stealing phones or wallet, especially on the bus, is

also

a considerable issue that needs to be taken down.

As a result

, it makes residents feel insecure and it leads to a terrible issue about trust between the state and the citizens.

Therefore

, it eliminates the stability of the society. To address

with

Suggestion

these problems, the government should find some way to attract people

move

Suggestion

to move

to other towns.

First

of all, it definitely will reduce the number of vehicles in the cities, which improve the

air

quality and save people’s time.

Consequently

, they can spend more time to recharge their batteries so they can feel

more happier

Suggestion

happier

and more comfortable to work.

Moreover

, it is easier for

government

Suggestion

the government

to manage the reasonable number of citizens so that they can prevent

crime

happening. In conclusion,

air

pollution and petty

crime

certainly are well-known problems in big cities and there is no doubt that the government should encourage the citizens relocate to other areas to live.

Submitted by Thanh on Fri May 24 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

urban congestion
traffic jams
lengthy commutes
high cost of living
financial strain
air pollution
noise pollution
quality of life
green space
recreational areas
social isolation
fast-paced lifestyle
public services strain
overpopulation

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People living in large cities have to face many problems in everyday life. What are those problems? Should the government encourage people to move to regional towns?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for childern development while other think that it is crucial for childern if they go to the school. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

With the recent improvements to internet , people can leave views or opinions on goods or services they have purchased. Is it a good or a bad thing , discuss both giving your own answer with example.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the popluation in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?