Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another c
While
some claim that professionals
ought to work
in their
Change the word
the
countries
where they did their training, others believe that anyone will be able to migrate to another country
to work
. From my point of view, both of the given arguments have their merits but I would lean toward the latter.
On the one hand, one appealing reason why a country
should require their professionals
to work
locally after finishing their training is because
the Replace the word
that
country
spends money and resources to train these people to become professionals
in the field. In addition
, the authority paid a complete fee for education and services facilities for doctors or engineers so if these professionals
leave the country
to move to another country
, it will be a huge loss for the country
in the future. For example
, when the number of doctors leave their countries
significantly, that region will encounter a lack of medical care services resulting in many repercussions for society.
On the other hand
, Some people think that professionals
should have the freedom to work
in oversea
Fix the agreement mistake
overseas
countries
if they want. The reason is that every person alway
has the right to choose the place where they desire to live or Correct your spelling
always
work
because it not only is able to bring more benefits such
as income, facilities or advancement and ultimately they also
will achieve satisfaction in life. Moreover
, the astounding rivalry of
employment Change preposition
for
also
affects migration in their countries
due to
a lack of jobs. For instances
, in the 19th, an increasing number of Fix the agreement mistake
instance
professionals
from Israel moved to America to inhabit because of the rise of wars in their country
In conclusion, there are reasons why doctors or engineers must work
for their government after training, but in my opinion, they should have the freedom to move overseas to work
.Submitted by phuocsang4567 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction provides a clear outline of the essay's intent, but the wording could be more precise. Consider revising to make it more refined and assertive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, either through linking phrases or cohesive devices, to maintain a seamless flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
While the main points are well-supported, it would be beneficial to elaborate further on some examples to enhance the argument's depth and persuasiveness.
Task Achievement
Be wary of small grammatical errors and awkward phrasings which may detract from the overall clarity of your ideas. Proofreading can help mitigate these issues.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints thoroughly, giving a balanced argument which is essential for a high-scoring IELTS essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance and recaps the main points, providing a well-rounded end to the essay.
Task Achievement
The use of examples, such as the influx of professionals from Israel to America due to wars, strengthens your argument by providing concrete evidence.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?