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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crimes is to apply longer prison sentences, other people think that there are better methods of doing so. Discuss both views.

#people #crimes #prison #sentences #methods
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Nowadays, people are
facing
Suggestion
faced
 with many dangers, one of them is criminal. In order to cut down on the number of crimes, many people suppose that we should lengthen the prison sentences, whereas others believe that there are more effective solutions. To my knowledge, expanding sentences is beneficial in some ways.
Firstly
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, when dangerous prisoners are kept in prison for a
longer
Suggestion
long
 time, life of normal people could be safer.
Secondly
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, as long as the judgement arbitrate strictly, the citizens would be scared and avoid doing bad things.
However
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, there are still other solutions which are more effective.
Firstly
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, educate people well since they are at school as they could have either enough knowledge or good health to improve their lives.
Moreover
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, we must teach children what they must do to become good people and especially what they must not do, if they do
then
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 what they will be punished.
Secondly
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,
government
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the government
 should make good policies in order to create more jobs
for
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in
 society,
therefore
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 unemployment rate could be reduced.
Thirdly
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,
government
Suggestion
the government
 should have
social benefit fund
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a social benefit fund
social benefit funds
 to provide basic needs to unemployed people and those not able to work
such
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 as the handicapped and old ones. In result, more people could live on their own without
commit
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committing
 to a crime. By way of conclusion, it seems evident that lengthening sentences
is
Suggestion
are
an
Suggestion
a
 vital solution,
besides
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, there are others practical ways to solve the root of
this
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 problem.
Submitted by Thanh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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