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Band 6.5

Some people think that team sports prepare children for work life but others think individual sports are better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #team #sports #children #work #life
Playing sports in teams
is considered
Suggestion
are considered
 by many to be an efficient way of getting children ready for the corporate world, while others
believe individual
Suggestion
believe in individual
 sports are better.
Although
 individual disciplines develop important personal qualities in young people, in my opinion, team games refine their social skills which are
more crucial
Suggestion
most crucial
 for industry. On the one hand, being an individual athlete requires a child to be self-reliant and have a deep understanding or their own abilities and
this
 is why some people think it is good for developing into a professional at work.
In other words
,
such
 athletes are focused on themselves so they do not need to cooperate with others.
For instance
, if a gymnast were to injure themselves during a display, they cannot rely on a substitute,
nevertheless
, they may, using other strengths, modify the exercise making it safe and still spectacular.
On the other hand
, it is often believed that team sports are better for future career because they teach children communication skills and how to work effectively with others, and I agree. In my view, what is most crucial in collaboration with subordinates, colleagues and management is the ability to accept people with different views and to come to an agreement. To illustrate,
however
 self-reliant or self-aware an expert is, he or she might not be able to negotiate with partners or clients which could result in companies losing profit.
This
, in its turn, becomes the reason why a person will not be promoted. In conclusion,
although
 individual sports helps children to act autonomously and gain self-awareness, they do not foster social cooperation In my view, I am deeply convinced that strong social skills nurtured in team games are essential for making a successful career.
Submitted by litvita on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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