IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

University education is expensive, and not everyone can have university degree. Some people think that university should be free for everyone. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, people pay huge attention to
education
Use synonyms
,
thus
Linking Words
, the expensive
education
Use synonyms
fee
Use synonyms
 has raised a row of debates. Several individuals believe that the
university
Use synonyms
fee
Use synonyms
 should be free for every student because of various major reasons which I shall explain in more detail in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Personally, I majority disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
To begin
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 it is expensive to study at the
university
Use synonyms
 because the school must pay a large amount for its facilities and operations
such
Linking Words
 as construction, decoration, human resources, salary, and much more.
This
Linking Words
 can lead to a limited number of people accessing
university
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, It Is thought that the
fee
Use synonyms
 of the
university
Use synonyms
 should be free for everybody.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if the
university
Use synonyms
fee
Use synonyms
 is free for every individual, its quality will drop. To illustrate, universities in my country must pay a lot of money to invite talented experts from developing countries to teach their students.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they must
also
Linking Words
 invest in equipment and technology. These are paid to get a great environment of
education
Use synonyms
 where the students can get more motivation to study.
Besides
Linking Words
, the universities have already sent scholarships to talented students.
Consequently
Linking Words
, expensive
education
Use synonyms
 is not an issue, even if it can be to motivate to boost student hard work to reduce fees for scholarships. In conclusion, it seems to me that I disagree with the statement that
university
Use synonyms
 should be free for everyone because it will make
education
Use synonyms
 quality lower because lack of money to invest in facilities and operations.
Finally
Linking Words
, I believe that the more the
university
Use synonyms
 is invested, the higher the
education
Use synonyms
 level, and the more the development country is.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a clearer explanation and stronger support for your main points. For example, when you mention the costs of running a university, providing specific statistics or examples would make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
You could increase the logical flow of your essay by ensuring that all supporting points directly tie back to your main argument. Some of your points felt a bit disconnected. Working on this will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
structure
You have successfully included an introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
content
Your essay provides a balanced view and you have included relevant arguments to support your stance.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: