IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

University education is expensive, and not everyone can have university degree. Some people think that university should be free for everyone. Do you agree or disagree?

#university #education #people
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Nowadays, people pay huge attention to
education
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,
thus
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, the expensive
education
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fee
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 has raised a row of debates. Several individuals believe that the
university
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fee
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 should be free for every student because of various major reasons which I shall explain in more detail in
this
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 essay. Personally, I majority disagree with
this
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 statement.
To begin
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,
it is clear that
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 it is expensive to study at the
university
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 because the school must pay a large amount for its facilities and operations
such
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 as construction, decoration, human resources, salary, and much more.
This
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 can lead to a limited number of people accessing
university
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,
therefore
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, It Is thought that the
fee
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 of the
university
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 should be free for everybody.
On the other hand
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, if the
university
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fee
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 is free for every individual, its quality will drop. To illustrate, universities in my country must pay a lot of money to invite talented experts from developing countries to teach their students.
Additionally
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, they must
also
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 invest in equipment and technology. These are paid to get a great environment of
education
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 where the students can get more motivation to study.
Besides
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, the universities have already sent scholarships to talented students.
Consequently
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, expensive
education
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 is not an issue, even if it can be to motivate to boost student hard work to reduce fees for scholarships. In conclusion, it seems to me that I disagree with the statement that
university
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 should be free for everyone because it will make
education
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 quality lower because lack of money to invest in facilities and operations.
Finally
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, I believe that the more the
university
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 is invested, the higher the
education
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 level, and the more the development country is.
Submitted by writingeilts on

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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a clearer explanation and stronger support for your main points. For example, when you mention the costs of running a university, providing specific statistics or examples would make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
You could increase the logical flow of your essay by ensuring that all supporting points directly tie back to your main argument. Some of your points felt a bit disconnected. Working on this will enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
structure
You have successfully included an introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
content
Your essay provides a balanced view and you have included relevant arguments to support your stance.
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