IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Issues related to regulations about duty periods are frequently discussed these days. It is true that these laws should be introduced to employees. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, there could be a few reasons for
this
Linking Words
, and I consider it to be a very positive trend. As for the first question, there are several ideas as to why the government should release labour laws. The first objective to consider is the regulations that protect employees from being taken advantage of by employers and can keep away from various problems.
In other words
Linking Words
, many of these cases
such
Linking Words
 as massive disagreements, fraud, and protests stem from a lack of fairness in societies.
For example
Linking Words
, My colleague used to be treated as a lower-class person so he decided to sue the firm causing to workflow in the office.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the decision to publish labour law that protects workers enhances people's work-life balance. At least, we should work for 5 days and have 2 holidays a week so we can spend our
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
 off to deal with private matters
such
Linking Words
 as relaxation, raising children, and extra work. These help us stay away from adverse mental and physical health.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, having better personal life quality can enrich the communities.
For instance
Linking Words
, workers who have a well-managed work-life balance could deliver superior tasks more than people who lack life management. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that introducing laws to limit working hours for employees is a positive trend.
Therefore
Linking Words
, governments and individuals should always realize that global trends have been changing all the time.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your main ideas are clear, but you need to elaborate more on each point to make your argument stronger. For instance, include more specific examples to support your points, such as statistics or case studies.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from better logical structure between sentences and paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next, and each sentence within each paragraph leads logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to avoid repetitive language and try to use a wider range of vocabulary. Using synonyms and varied sentence structures will make the essay more engaging and demonstrate your language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and aligned with the main body of the essay. This exhibits good structure and purpose.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt well by discussing both why these laws are introduced and whether they are positive or negative. This shows a good understanding of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
What to do next:
Look at other essays: