IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#children #job #society #mothers #fathers #course #parents
It is true that taking care of children is a crucial function of the community especially parents. While some people recommend that parents should participate in pre – parenting courses, others convince that they do not have to for being great parents. On the one hand, parents will obtain
skills
Suggestion
the skills
 and knowledge to tackle with children in different circumstances through pre –parenting training.
For example
, they will know how to deal with their children well when they are crying or having proper action once they make mistakes.
In addition
, if they were trained on how to guide their children, they would easily know how to identify their
children
Suggestion
child's
child
 characteristics and orient for their development since they are young.
On the other hand
, it is very difficult to put all parents in the same courses as it would not be so practical since they have different backgrounds, knowledge.
For instance
, in theory, parents are taught that they have to teach their children gently,
however
, in practice, parents found that they have to have some punishments to stubborn children.
As a result
, people prefer to learn by themselves through
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 or relatives to go to classic for
such
 impractical methods. In conclusion, parents should attend the training before becoming parents if they are not ready for a new responsibility.
However
, it is more important if they can find themselves the appropriate way to bring up their children.
Submitted by Thanh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: