IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The people sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? What effect does it have on an individual and society?

#people #countries #effect #society
In the majority of the countries, lifestyle has been changed radically since the
last
 two
decades which
Accept comma addition
decades, which
 result in limited sleep and rest on a daily basis. It is commonly thought by many scientist
time
 to
time
 that depletion in sleeping practices by human beings due to reasons
such
 as longer working hours, spending a huge amount of
time
 on social media and television sets etc. Fewer hours of sleep
is
Suggestion
are
 mainly responsible for poor health, stress, anxiety and disputed relations with family and friends.
To begin
 with, the human being revolutionized their
life
 and habits in order to match with the modern era of the world. Poor sleeping practices
is
Suggestion
are
 one of
them which
Accept comma addition
them, which
 is the result of extended working hours at the office, spending a lot of
time
 on social media
such
 as Facebook, Instagram, Tweeter etc. All in all technological advancement really ruined human’s
life
 in terms of sleeping habits.
For instance
, according to a survey by BBC news, people nowadays sleep often 23% less as
compare
Suggestion
compared
 to the 20th century. There are noticeable downsides which are affecting the people on
personal
Suggestion
a personal
 as well as social level. Individually, due to limited sleep people often feel so much stress and anxiety issues during the daily routine, which causes disrupted relations with family members and friends.
Such
 people are inactive in contributing to society which is one of the main reasons for poor local social
life
.
For example
, the Times journal report published on 15th January 2019 states, nowadays around 35% of the population is less efficient, stressed and inactive due to poor sleep and changed lifestyle affecting them immensely. To conclude, sleep plays a vital role in a happy and healthy
life
. People do take less sleep due to a transformed lifestyle which affects them personally and as a society in tremendous ways.
Submitted by er.vaibhavpatil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: