some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime.

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime

Nowadays, it has commonly viewed by many that prisoners become a good citizen when they evacuate from prison.

many

Suggestion

Many

people believe that they are

the great

Suggestion

the greatest

people to guide

adolescent group

Suggestion

the adolescent group

about the threats of committing crimes and I partially agree with them. To some extent, the prisoners could bring awareness among

young generation

Suggestion

the young generation

very nicely as they had experienced the torturous life of prison themselves.

they

Suggestion

They

have guilt for the crimes they committed in

past

Suggestion

the past

For example

, In India, a renowned NGO ‘Save Your Child’ is owned by past

prisoner

who committed robbery at his young age.

Suggestion

served the jail for seven years and that period had left

noteworthy impression

Suggestion

a noteworthy impression

on his mind, now he is the role model for many as he saved them from committing crimes.

However

, I think the

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

of a person hardly changes, once a thief will always be a thief, so a

prisoner

is not always a right choice to direct the adolescent people.

Also there

Accept comma addition

Also, there

are many other individuals in our society

such

as priests, social leaders who can restrain us to do something bad by offering motivational lectures and sharing their life experiences. In conclusion, I partially agree that a past

prisoner

could improve the society by restricting teenagers from committing crimes.

Suggestion

is really appreciable, If the person learns from his past mistakes.

however

Suggestion

However

, a

prisoner

who learned lessons in jail is not always a right person to correct the youngster.

there

Suggestion

There

are many other famous faces of society

such

as Teachers, parents, priest who can encourage the child for doing positive deeds

instead

of committing crimes.

Submitted by harmankr.sethi on Fri May 31 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

prisoners
rehabilitation
recidivism
consequences
insights
deterrent
guidance
support
role models
positive change

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some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime.

Fully explain your ideas

An increasingly number of professionals , such as doctors and teachers , are leaving their own poorer countries yo work in developed countries . What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation ?

In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviours. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.