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Band 5.5

Some people think that men and women have different qualities. Therefore, some certain jobs are suitable for men and some jobs are suitable for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #men #women #qualities #jobs
Some commentators argue that physical qualities are different between male and female, which determines what jobs are suitable for them. While there were intensive
debate
Suggestion
debatable
debated
debating
 to justify
this
 view in the past, I disagree that it should apply to the modern society.
Firstly
, I would like to discuss distinct characteristics which affect the range of jobs open to men and women and which traditionally affect their choice of career. On the one hand, men are considered to be born with strength and bravery, symbolising for power. They are supposed to be suitable with
such
 working environment requiring physical strength as military.
On the other hand
, women, especially those who are brought up traditionally tend to favour caring professions.
That is
 why they are likely to do
jobs
Suggestion
the jobs
 involving taking care of children and the elderly.
Secondly
, I believe that the world of work has changed and there is no room for outdated attitudes towards
capabilities
Suggestion
the capabilities
 of men and women. Both genders deserve equal opportunities in all careers. One reason is that changes in education
has given
Suggestion
have given
 women the same chance to gain qualifications as men.
Moreover
, they are able to reach the top in their chosen field by working hard. Another reason is that modern views have broken the traditional barriers, which effectively barred men and women from doing
cetain
definite but not specified or identified
certain
cation
 jobs in the past: construction workers, truck drivers, soldiers in the case of women; nursing, cooking and cleaning jobs in the case of men. In conclusion, I would argue that sex discrimination at work today
is not tolerated
Suggestion
doesn't tolerate
 as much as in the past - either against men or women.
Submitted by ntduong.ftu on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender roles
  • inherent qualities
  • social dynamics
  • merit-based selection
  • advancements in technology
  • levelled the playing field
  • gender stereotypes
  • equal opportunities
  • physical differences
  • workplace
  • evolving
  • traditional view
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