IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree?

#societies #people #money
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In today's
world there
Accept comma addition
world, there
 are lots of people who
can not
can not
cannot
 afford a
house
Use synonyms
 for themselves. Some people believe that these people could be benefited only by supporting economically.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 proposition because there are alternatives to support
such
Linking Words
 people
such
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 as education, free meals, employment etc. To embark on,
firstly
Linking Words
, the main objective of communities is to provide residence to people who are not capable enough to live in their own
house
Use synonyms
ans
in order to; used instead of "to", especially after try, come, go
and
 stays in slum areas. Just providing them fund, might not suffice the purpose of giving them a shelter to live as it is not necessary that these individuals are going to utilise the offered amount for constructing
home
Suggestion
homes
,
instead
Linking Words
 there is
possibility
Suggestion
a possibility
the possibility
 of misusing that
money
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, some people, in my country, India, people usually do not use the
money
Use synonyms
 in appropriately,
specially
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
 if offered as a help. In
short
Suggestion
shorter
, rather than helping economically, one can get free education and meals as a support.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the reason why only
money
Use synonyms
 would not be beneficial for poor people,
specially
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
, who do not have their own
house
Use synonyms
 is that they barely would understand the value of earning, until they do it themselves.
For instance
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 offered one time would be limited one,
however
Linking Words
, employment will offer
funds
Suggestion
funding
 for
long run
Suggestion
the long run
a long run
long runs
.
Hence
Linking Words
, providing employment
instead
Linking Words
 of
money
Use synonyms
 would give them a better chance to arrange a
house
Use synonyms
. To recapitulate,
this
Linking Words
 essay discussed why only
money
Use synonyms
 would
no
negation of a word or group of words
not
 be a great help for citizens without home because
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 offered might be misused by
such
Linking Words
 people and it will be a static for just a certain time period. In my opinion, I completely disagree with the proposition that economic help alone would not be useful
fr
appropriate to; intended for
for
 people who does no have
home
that male; objective male pronoun
him
.
Submitted by testkumar12399 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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