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Band 4.5

Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them

#sports #people
While dangerous or extreme sports are gaining
increase
Suggestion
increasing
increased
 popularity lately, they continue to be rather controversial as the benefits are hard to quantify exactly.
This
 essay shall discuss some of the main reasons why people engage in
such
 sports and suggest ways in which some risks involved in
such
 sports can be reduced. The main reason why people get engaged in extreme dangerous sports is that they get
thrill
Suggestion
thrills
 out of them. They take pleasure in taking risks. They like challenging their abilities and potentials. They feel some sense of fulfilment and satisfaction when they are face to face with fears that ordinarily would have ravaged the confidence of ordinary human that might not be able to tolerate
such
 extreme sports. Another reason for engaging in
such
 sports is that there
is
Suggestion
are
 a lot of fame and money involved in them. They become
reknown
widely known and esteemed
renowned
 by doing stunts on motorcycles and cars, or jumping from tall buildings. They make headlines in newspapers and TV news channels. They feel more fulfilled when their name come out in
Guiness Book
Suggestion
the Guiness Book
 of Records. Once they become famous, they tend to get a lot of money
also
. They become household names and businesses begin to hire them for advert and
products
Suggestion
product
 endorsement. Many
stepscan
Suggestion
steps can
 be employed to reduce risks that are involved in these sports.
Firstly
, these sports should be done under strict supervision of experts. All safety precautions should be taken.
Such
 sports should be performed after sufficient training and under supervision of adults. Some people suggest
baning
an official prohibition or edict against something
banning
Benin
burning
 is a good solution. We all know that forbidden fruits taste sweeter and people will do
such
 sports in
hidding
the activity of keeping something secret
hiding
 irregardless of measures put to
outrightly
 ban
such
. To put it in a nutshell, I pen
down saying
Accept comma addition
down, saying
 that, people do
such
 sports for fun, for money and for fame.
However
such
 sports should be performed under sufficient training and strict supervision
Submitted by osbenic on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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