Some individuals view music as a great means of uniting people of diverse cultural backgrounds and ages together. This essay completely agrees with this opinion because it not only improve human relationships but also play therapeutic roles

#individuals #music #people #backgrounds #ages #relationships #roles

A good reason why I agree that melodies can bring people of different backgrounds together is that it makes people to relate

with

Suggestion

each other better. As an example, people who share a common interest are more likely to listen to similar genre of

music

when they meet with one another.

Also

, it helps to cement relationships and foster better bonds when they are played at occasions.

For instance

, a popular musical carnival in my village brings together people of different age grades and culture to wine and dine together every year. The event is so enjoyable that many people look forward to attending with their friends who are

live

Suggestion

living

overseas. Another reason why I agree is that, it has a therapeutic effect on the listeners. According to a quote by a popular American artist

Accept space

he said "

music

is the greatest medicine of the mind and soul" and I concur because when people listen to tunes, they tend to forget their worries, many

dance

Suggestion

dances

away their sorrows on listening to their favourite

music

For instance

, many Nigerians I know, admits that whenever the popular

popstar

Suggestion

pop star

, Akon, sings on stage they perceive a healing effect on them which eases their worry.

Hence

, they like to attend

such

performances with their friends and family members. In conclusion,

music

, which has both the capacity to improve human relationships as well as therapeutic roles, is a powerful tool to bring individual of various origin and ages together.

Submitted by fbjatom50 on Fri Jun 14 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

242 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words.
Getting older for some people is worse while the others believe that it is an improvement in this current day compared to the past. From my perspective, I agree with the second statement that arising the old ages indicates a development on quality of human lives, in terms of healthy and supportif environment.
4
band
In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, there are plenty of way to master a skill either by pursuing a degree or practice trainings. Both of it has their own strengths and weakness for future career. I personally would rather choose to study in university if compare to on job hands on trainings.
4
band
In some societies, more and more people are choosing to live on their own? What are the reasons people choose to do this? Is it a positive or negative trend?
In many countries, as people turn to their twentieth and claiming themselves as an independent adult. People are begin more and more to choosing to live on their own. In this essay I would like to give brief opinion about the reason why people tend to choose this way and also give the impact of this trend.
5.5
band
Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is an irrefutable fact that perilous issues that risk not only land's greenery but also, world count and literacy level are hovering all over the globe. To specify, elevation in global warming, overpopulation and illiteracy has become one of the major causes of concern for most of the countries. This essay shall further enlist probable problems that the Indian country will come across in the coming decade and suggest plausible solutions to handle such extremities.
7.5
band
Punishing murderers with death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder.therefore life in prisonmement is a better punishment for murder.to what extent do you agreee
There are those people who believe that imposing the death penalty as forfeiture for criminals is somehow contradicting since people responsible for killing the convict also commit murder. Therefore, they suggest that life incarceration is the best way to penalize syndicates. I firmly disagree with this view.

Some individuals view music as a great means of uniting people of diverse cultural backgrounds and ages together. This essay completely agrees with this opinion because it not only improve human relationships but also play therapeutic roles

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad. Others, however, say that life for the elderly nowadays is much better than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some societies, more and more people are choosing to live on their own? What are the reasons people choose to do this? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Punishing murderers with death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder.therefore life in prisonmement is a better punishment for murder.to what extent do you agreee