IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder.Therfore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers

#murderers #death #penalty #society #murder #therfore #life #prison #punishment
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Passing a death judgement on an individual connected to murder
also
Linking Words
interpret
Correct subject-verb agreement
interprets
show examples
 the
community
Use synonyms
 to be guilty of
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
, Hitherto spending the remaining of their lives in
prison
Use synonyms
 is a better castigation for their
offence
Use synonyms
. It is considered by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society that manslaughter is a punishable and huge
offence
Use synonyms
therefore
Linking Words
 it should be approached by the law with all strictness. To start with,murder on the law varies with
community
Use synonyms
,religion and
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
.
To
Correct your spelling
It
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been believed by some that anyone who kills should be killed but
life
Use synonyms
 in
prison
Use synonyms
 for some others. Remanding a prisoner in
prison
Use synonyms
 for
life
Use synonyms
 will
however
Linking Words
 be a better option on the note that their freedom will be taken away,room for repentance may be achieved and working on their conscience and psyche will be made available
For example
Linking Words
,A man who killed his wife on infidelity ground if murdered for his
offence
Use synonyms
 might not know what it means to be a widower without freedom and the gravity of his
offence
Use synonyms
coupled with
Linking Words
 the shame to face his wife family and much more
toture
Correct your spelling
torture
 if there are children involved in the marriage.With all
these
Add a comma
these,
show examples
 there is
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
 to make things right if kept alive.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, staying all their
life
Use synonyms
 in
prison
Use synonyms
 will serve the
community
Use synonyms
 by making them do hard labour jobs
For example
Linking Words
,their manpower is needed in
construction
Add an article
the construction
show examples
 of roads and bridges without monetary value.They can
also
Linking Words
 be made to clean parks, stadium or any location where
outdoors
Replace the word
outdoor
show examples
 activities
takes
Change the verb form
take
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 place.
In addition
Linking Words
,there are benefits for
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 inmates too as vocational training can be learnt,
exams
Correct word choice
and exams
show examples
 can be written so as to make sure they ain't idle which could lead to
depressive
Add an article
a depressive
show examples
 state of mind and
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
 suicidal thoughts
However
Linking Words
, passing a death penalty will give the bereaved a sense of revenge and sometimes satisfaction.
For example
Linking Words
,a mother whose child's
life
Use synonyms
 was terminated by his classmates will not mind the
murderer
Change noun form
murderer's
show examples
 mother going through
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 not minding living through the guilt In conclusion,the
community
Use synonyms
 will
be addressed
Wrong verb form
address
show examples
 a murderer if killing as a punishment is
adapted
Correct your spelling
adopted
show examples
.Better still,letting a person guilty of
such
Linking Words
Use synonyms
offence
Correct article usage
an offence
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
remain forever in
prison
Use synonyms
 is a better option and sometimes benefits
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society when used as manpower
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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