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Writing Samples
Band 4

People should be retired at the age of 60 or they should work as long as they want? To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #age #work
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Some persons believe that getting retirement at
certain
Suggestion
a certain age
age
Use synonyms
 is better, while others completely disagrees
this
Linking Words
 notion and believe that people should
work
Use synonyms
 till they manage to do that.
This
Linking Words
 essay will completely agree with the fact that, everyone should
work
Use synonyms
 till he or she is healthy and being able to manage to
work
Use synonyms
,
hence
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 way everyone in general can stay active and healthy. In
this
Linking Words
 competitive world, every man and women works from morning till night to make their ends meet,
hence
Linking Words
 people becomes, so
use
to the same degree (often followed by 'as')
as
 to of staying occupied. If a
person
Use synonyms
choose
Suggestion
chooses
 to get retire that usually happens
in
Suggestion
with
 old
age
Use synonyms
, it is difficult for them to spend their whole day being idle. As all the other family members will remain busy with their daily routine, so being at home a
person
Use synonyms
 might feels lonely. While being at
work
Use synonyms
 a
person
Use synonyms
remain
Suggestion
remains
 social and occupied and get tired from the routine
work
Use synonyms
 and enjoys the resting hours.
Further
Linking Words
, in the societies where there is no old
age
Use synonyms
 social security, it is difficult to enjoy retirement;
hence
Linking Words
being
have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)
been
 working will give pride of being financially independent. Self esteem is really very important to everyone, but at old
age
Use synonyms
 self esteem becomes the most important thing,
therefore
Linking Words
 if a
person
Use synonyms
 works and earns, he or she has no need to compromise on it and even on any other need. In conclusion, a
person
Use synonyms
 should enjoy life at old
age
Use synonyms
 and should take fewer
burdens but
Accept comma addition
burdens, but
 taking retirement, will make their life boring or may be challenging at times, if a
person
Use synonyms
 is not sound financially.
Hence
Linking Words
 it is better to
work
Use synonyms
 at
old edge
Suggestion
the old edge
 to have better mental and physical health.
Submitted by Serhii Baraniuk on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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