Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subject. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
One point of view supports that it is beneficial to
study
deeply and more about their professions in the university
, while
others say that they should learn as well as
different subjects
. This
essay will argue that although
focusing on a particular field
of education
makes students
highly qualified, I strongly agree that students
, who learn more about other subjects
or fields, will be creative and in-demand specialists in the future
.
On the one hand, studying subjects
related to a particular profession
can make you a highly qualified specialist in the future
. In other words
, if you spent more hours and time learning only your field
of education
during studies
at the Correct pronoun usage
your studies
university
, you would know more information about your profession
. As a result
, it makes you the master of your field
. For instance
, in Almaty, students
at Kazakh National University
can choose their direction of profession
after 2 years of education
. Thereby, they study
deeply about their field
.
On the other hand
, studying other subjects
when you have more energy and strengths, makes you a broad-minded and future
sought-after professional. That is
to say, in order to be a creative specialist in the 21st century, you need to know a lot about other industries too. Moreover
, the broad mind and creative skills of students
can make them as high-demanded future
specialists, because the new generation has fresh ideas and they should study
different subjects
at university
. As an example, in Almaty, students
of Almaty Management University
study
different subjects
, which are not related to their field
of education
for 4 years and because of that, they have different soft and hard skills. Therefore
, many companies provide them good
job offers.
In conclusion, it is argued that it is important to learn more Change preposition
with good
subjects
related to the particular profession
, while
others feel that it is better to know more about other fields if students
want to. I absolutely agree with this
statement and think that universities should provide the right to choose several subjects
for students
.Submitted by kalelkkhana on
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task achievement
In your introduction, you clearly present both viewpoints and your stance on the topic. However, you could strengthen the introduction by outlining the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your body paragraphs are logically structured, but some sentences could be more concise. For example, 'On the one hand, studying subjects related to a particular profession can make you a highly qualified specialist in the future' could be shortened to 'Studying subjects related to a profession can make you a highly qualified specialist.'
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has one clear central idea. Occasionally, you combined two ideas in one paragraph, which can detract from the clarity. For instance, your second body paragraph discusses both the benefits of broad learning and the need for creativity, which could be split into separate sections.
task achievement
Conclude each main point emphatically to reinforce your argument. Consider summarizing the main points briefly before moving to a new idea or the conclusion to better seal your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear and strong introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.
relevant specific examples
Your use of examples is effective and adds credibility to your arguments. For example, referring to specific universities in Almaty helps provide concrete evidence for your points.
logical structure
Overall, your essay flows well, with each paragraph connecting logically to the next. For instance, the transition from discussing deep knowledge to broad knowledge is smooth and natural.
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