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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the government should take care of disadvantaged people such as the unemployed and homeless people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #care
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Jobless
youth
Use synonyms
 and homeless individuals are a big concern of worry to the society. Some individuals believe that the state needs to take the responsibility of poor people,
such
Linking Words
 as, individuals without a job and a displaced persons. In my opinion, saving lives of homeless people is essential.
Although
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, protecting unemployed
youth
Use synonyms
 financially can devalue the importance of job among working individuals. Many orphan children are forced to become beggars or perform criminal activities by lawbreakers. It is often observed that juvenile involvement in criminal activities as rules and regulations for them are not that strict as
compare
Suggestion
comparison
compared
comparable
comparatively
 with adults,
therefore
Linking Words
, they are being harassed to perform offending tasks by adult offenders to earn money. Currently on the records of Mumbai police has proven the homeless youngster’s involvement in crime scene is huge in numbers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, financial support from state to unemployed
youth
Use synonyms
 will never encourage him to search for a new job. Wealth is the prime factor for a working individual,
Linking Words
consequently provide
Accept comma addition
consequently, provide
such
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 benefits to jobless
youth
Use synonyms
 and without any work will make them lazy to duties and responsibilities. From the records of employment ministry, reason to change the jobs by an individual is often the low wages.
Hence
Linking Words
, the care from government to unemployed
youth
Use synonyms
 will make them less ambitious. In conclusion, backing jobless
youth
Use synonyms
 by the government can make them lethargic to their duties and goals.
Moreover
Linking Words
, protecting homeless
youth
Use synonyms
 is essential to break the backbone of criminal minded people.
Hence
Linking Words
, I disagree and believe that the support
from
Suggestion
of
 a government can be destructive for some individuals as a whole.
Submitted by clbhat54 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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