Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problem could this situation cause and what measure can be done to address those problems?

Currently, there is a rise in the distance between the wealthy and needy
people
. The root causes of
this
are
due to
the differences in not only opportunities but
also
lifestyles
, yet it can be tackled by the government who provide social welfare for the poor. To commence with, one of the reasons for
this
is the diversity of chances in career.
In other words
, the rich
also
have their available social relationships, property and knowledge which promote them to higher positions in their occupations. Meanwhile, disadvantaged individuals do not have any chance to overcome their poverty or become affluent.
For example
, 95% of impoverished white-collar workers in the UK could not move to the positions of managers because they did not have enough relationships in the firms.
In addition
, another principal cause is the distinction in
lifestyles
between the rich and the poor. To be more specific, poor
people
tend to pursue extravagant
lifestyles
and waste their money on negative purposes
such
as using drugs and gambling or betting.
In contrast
, prosperous
people
just follow frugal lives
as well as
invest their money in several projects or ventures that can make a profit for them.
As a consequence
, the poor easily go bankrupt ,
while
the rich
also
become wealthier.
For instance
, in 2021, The New York Times showed that the top 10 billionaires in the USA just paid 2$ for each breakfast,
whereas
5 million citizens who lived in slums always spent 50$. A solution,
however
, can be found in the government's actions towards the poor. The most effective approach is for
people
who are deprived can receive social amenities like accommodations, food and drinks from local authorities.
As a result
, these things will enhance the quality of their lives, leading to bridging the gap between the rich and the poor. Take Vietnam as an example here where 50 charity events happen every year to supply necessary facilities for deprived
people
and they
also
assisted more than 20000 citizens to relocate to adequate houses.
Therefore
, the increase in the gap between affluent and poor individuals stems from inequality of work opportunities
along with
diverse
lifestyles
.
Nevertheless
, supplying vital things for the needy will improve
this
problem.
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task achievement
Work on providing more clear and comprehensive ideas. The essay should delve deeper into how the proposed solution can be practically implemented. Provide more detailed examples and explanations to fully flesh out the points mentioned.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all points are well-supported and connected logically. The main ideas should be expanded, and their supporting details should be presented more clearly. Transition words and phrases can be used more effectively to create a smoother flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses all parts of the task, providing both problems and solutions related to the widening gap between the rich and the poor.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, and the overall structure of the essay is logical. Each paragraph has a main point that is somewhat supported.
task response
Relevant and specific examples are provided to support the main points, which helps to illustrate the arguments being made.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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