Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, Electronic gadgets became part and parcel of life. I agree to the statement, that they have
negative impact
Suggestion
a negative impact
on the kids rather than positive. Lets discuss in detail about them in
later part
Suggestion
later parts
the later part
a later part
. As the technology has gone to
such
an extent, without usage of
laptop's
Suggestion
laptops
laptop
, we are unable to proceed most of the thing's in our daily activities. It not only has
effect
Suggestion
an effect
on major's but
also
the minor's. Almost all the children are
adicted
compulsively or physiologically dependent on something habit-forming
addicted
and it became their routine pass time. In the present situation, as most of the parent's are working, they have enough money and less time for their kids. So in order to make them busy, they taught them how to use computer's, so that they will be busy with them.
For example
, video games are one of them.
Child
Suggestion
A child
The child
who spend most of their day with these games, tend to lose their grade's in education. Apart from the above, it
also effect
Suggestion
also affects
also affect
their mental and physical growth.
For example
, the person who play's outdoor game like football, volleyball, tennis, squash, baseball tend to have more physical growth than the one who was with computer gaming. Those who are well
maintaining
Suggestion
maintained
their body, tend to psychologically strong. Not only
this
, but
also
pron
having a tendency (to); often used in combination
prone
sites which makes minor take wrong path. In conclusion,
Instead
of using these type of tool's, we should make
yong generation
Suggestion
the young generation
young generation
ion generation
in generation
to go out and play external games. Not only they can excel in their education, but
also
posses
well built body
Suggestion
a well built body
.
Submitted by chigurupati on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Screen time
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Physical inactivity
  • Cognitive development
  • Internet addiction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual learning environments
  • Parental controls
  • Moderation
  • Online safety
  • Tech-savvy
  • E-learning
  • Information technology
  • Eye strain
  • Social skills
  • Multitasking
  • Interactive education
  • Health repercussions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: