Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing number of sports facilities, others, however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion

It is believed by some that improving the
health
of the citizens can be done by providing more sport complexes, others believe that various elements
such
as public awareness and education are needed to improve public
health
.
This
essay will discuss both views and explain my support for the latter view. Those who support the view that the most effective way to improve
health
within the society is by
increase
of facilities argue on the basis of
increase
Suggestion
an increase
the increase
in exercise.
This
implies that, the more the facilities for sporting tasks, the more individuals perform various activities
such
as yoga, gymnastics and cardio, which is likely to decrease the risk of medical emergencies
such
as heart attacks, strokes, or high blood pressure. According to a survey carried out by the World
Health
Organization, in 2018,
for example
, revealed that approximately 20% of elders in China, which has the highest number of sporting facilities in the world, has the lowest number of medical emergencies in the world.
Although
, if sporting areas were made available by the government there is a high probability that most individuals
would rather
Accept comma addition
would, rather
than go to
such
places remain at home.
However
, I would argue that
sporting centers
Suggestion
the sporting centre
sporting centre
has little, or no impact on public
health
and there are other methods that may improve the
health
of individuals in a society. The major method being pubic awareness.
This
is because the more people are educated about the dangers of not
exercising the
Accept comma addition
exercising, the
more they exercise and improve their
health
. Take
for example
, after the 1999 publication on
Health
and Death, the Association of Gymnasium witnessed about 70%
increase
in attendance during the period the advert aired. If the government would organize seminars or adverts to teach people
this
can
increase
the
health
of members in the community. In conclusion, increasing the number of sporting areas would likely impact the
health
of individuals if only they are aware of the dangers of poor dieting and lack of exercise.
Therefore
educating the public in my opinion is a much effective solution than constructing more sporting complexes.
Submitted by hbdbhsj on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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