IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Eating too much sugar is harmful for health. Some people think that it is government responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think that it is individuals responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sugar #health #people #government #responsibility #limit #people’s #consumption #individuals #amount
It
Suggestion
It's
 thought by some that it is the responsibility of those in in authority to reduce the intake of sugary
food
 by individuals, while others are of the view that individuals should be in control of their
sugar
 intake. In my opinion, I consider that the government should increase the taxes paid by sugary
food
 industry in order to curtail
this
 behaviour.
This
 essay would discuss both opinions, and provide a logical conclusion. On the one hand, some people think that the government should impose a higher tariff on sugary
food
, and I agree with them. If
this
 is done, the prices on sugary substances will be increased by the manufacturers, or sellers of these products,
thus
, making it expensive for individuals to purchase. Because of the expensive nature of
food
 containing
sugar
, individuals will be forced to abstain from it,
therefore
, making them limit their
sugar
 consumption. As an illustration,
as a result
 of the higher tariff paid by alcohol sellers in the UK,
this
 lead to an increase in the price of alcohol, and there has been a drastic reduction in the consumption of alcohol by the individuals
resident
Suggestion
residing
 in
UK
Suggestion
the UK
.
This
 is according to the report released by Bloomberg in 2015.
On the other hand
, it is believed by some people that individuals are in the best position to control their
sugar
 intake.
This
 is because they know their health status better, and can limit it when they are aware that their blood
sugar
 level has increased.
However
, I disagree with
this
 view, as not all individuals actually go for checkup to ascertain their blood
sugar
 level, and
this
 exposes them to health risk. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinion, I believe that those in authority are in the best place to help limit individual's
sugar
 consumption by imposing
higher tariff
Suggestion
higher tariffs
a higher tariff
 on
food
 containing
sugar
.
Submitted by courageugbogbo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: