An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In
this
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day and age,
appearance
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is more and more important and both males and females desire to have an excellent face and body.
Thus
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, they are willing lots of money for cosmetic
surgery
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to improve their
appearance
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. In
this
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essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the above opinion and reasons that encourage
people
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to use
this
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service. It is undeniable that citizens pay attention to their
appearance
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in modern society. They purchase expensive clothes and luxury
jewelry
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jewellery
show examples
to make them more attractive.
Besides
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, they
also
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invest in their
appearance
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including their face and body as an indispensable part of modern society to make them more confident.
Furthermore
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, one of the main reasons that
people
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tend to have cosmetic
surgery
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is individuals, who are good-looking, can achieve many achievements than others in their lives. On the one hand, cosmetic
surgery
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makes individuals more confident and facilitates more opportunities for
people
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in their work and life.
For instance
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, nowadays, there are lots of jobs, which require employee
appearance
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such
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as receptionist, MC, sales, etc…
On the other hand
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, cosmetic
surgery
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can cause some disadvantages because it is an operation and patients can suffer from complications
such
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as shock and allergy, which can even threaten their lives.
Last
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but not least, the cost of
surgery
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is not cheap,
thus
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, some
people
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are conducted in unsafe medical facilities, which can bring plenty of drawbacks. In conclusion, beauty care is a reasonable desire for everyone, which makes them more beautiful and confident.
However
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,
people
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should be aware of cosmetic
surgery
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to ensure their safety and affordability.

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task achievement
Although the essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, more specific examples and clearer supporting points would enhance the overall quality and completeness of your response.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using more cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your essay, such as transitioning phrases that smoothly connect your ideas between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction presents the topic well, but including a clearer thesis statement at the end would give your readers a better roadmap of what to expect in the essay.
task achievement
Your effort to address both sides of the argument shows a balanced perspective, which is commendable for a well-rounded discussion.
task achievement
There is a good attempt to discuss the impact of cosmetic surgery on confidence, which is a relevant point in relation to the topic.
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