An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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this

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day and age,

appearance

Use synonyms

is more and more important and both males and females desire to have an excellent face and body.

Thus

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, they are willing lots of money for cosmetic

surgery

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to improve their

appearance

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. In

this

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essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the above opinion and reasons that encourage

people

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to use

this

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service. It is undeniable that citizens pay attention to their

appearance

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in modern society. They purchase expensive clothes and luxury

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

to make them more attractive.

Besides

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, they

also

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invest in their

appearance

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including their face and body as an indispensable part of modern society to make them more confident.

Furthermore

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, one of the main reasons that

people

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tend to have cosmetic

surgery

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is individuals, who are good-looking, can achieve many achievements than others in their lives. On the one hand, cosmetic

surgery

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makes individuals more confident and facilitates more opportunities for

people

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in their work and life.

For instance

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, nowadays, there are lots of jobs, which require employee

appearance

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such

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as receptionist, MC, sales, etc…

On the other hand

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, cosmetic

surgery

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can cause some disadvantages because it is an operation and patients can suffer from complications

such

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as shock and allergy, which can even threaten their lives.

Last

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but not least, the cost of

surgery

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is not cheap,

thus

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, some

people

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are conducted in unsafe medical facilities, which can bring plenty of drawbacks. In conclusion, beauty care is a reasonable desire for everyone, which makes them more beautiful and confident.

However

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people

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should be aware of cosmetic

surgery

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to ensure their safety and affordability.

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task achievement

Although the essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, more specific examples and clearer supporting points would enhance the overall quality and completeness of your response.

coherence and cohesion

Consider using more cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your essay, such as transitioning phrases that smoothly connect your ideas between paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction presents the topic well, but including a clearer thesis statement at the end would give your readers a better roadmap of what to expect in the essay.

task achievement

Your effort to address both sides of the argument shows a balanced perspective, which is commendable for a well-rounded discussion.

task achievement

There is a good attempt to discuss the impact of cosmetic surgery on confidence, which is a relevant point in relation to the topic.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some say that the standard of behaviour among children has worsened and that this is their parents' fault; others say that schools are to blame. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second-hand clothing amongst the younger generation. Why is this happening? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?