Leisure is a growing industry, but people no longer entertain themselves as much as they used to because the use of modern technology has made them less creative. Do you agree or disagree?

I disagree with the statement that
people
do not entertain themselves as much as they used to because of modern
technology
. I believe that modern
technology
has not made
people
less creative. In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
it has changed the definition of
leisure
and the lifestyle of
people
. Modern
technology
has changed our definition of
leisure
. Earlier,
leisure
meant going out and meeting
people
, playing outdoor games, going to
cinema
Add an article
the cinema
show examples
to watch movies and so on.
However
, today,
leisure
time is full of choices. We have so many things to do within the four walls of our house. We can watch countless programs on national and international channels; we can play online games; we can chat with friends and relatives in any corner of the world; we can do
arm-chair
Correct your spelling
armchair
show examples
tourism by which we can visit any historical place or museum sitting in our
arm-chair
Correct your spelling
armchair
show examples
.
That is
why perhaps it looks as if we
people
do not entertain ourselves as much as we used to in yesteryears. Another reason why
people
don’t entertain as much as before is
also
not because of
technology
.
Technology
has, in fact, given us more time to enjoy but we can’t strike a balance between work and play. We have become workaholics. Life in the past was simpler.
People
worked for basic needs. Now work is not just a way of life. It is for personal
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
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. We set goals for ourselves
such
as a house or a car. We choose
this
way of life. Now we have improved
standard
Correct pronoun usage
our standard
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of living but
this
has come at a very high cost.
Finally
, I would like to state that the given statement is flawed because nowadays
people
specially
Rephrase
especially
show examples
take
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time to entertain themselves.
This
can be evident from the mushroom growth of
leisure
centres
such
as hotels, restaurants, fun parks and spas. Tourist places are full of
people
and train and air reservations have to be done well in advance. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that,
technology
has not made us less creative. We entertain ourselves more than
earlier
Change preposition
in earlier
show examples
times but the ways of entertainment are different and
technology
has given us more choices than before.
Submitted by Serhii Baraniuk on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • passive consumption
  • instant gratification
  • creative content creation
  • problem-solving skills
  • streaming services
  • social media platforms
  • online tutorials
  • enhancing creativity
  • digital age
  • technological advancements
  • cognitive skills
  • innovation
  • interactive platforms
  • virtual reality
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