IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Increasing car usage in many large global cities has caused a number of problems. Some cities have proposed banning private vehicles from the city center

#car #usage #cities #vehicles #city #center
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Owing to the growing number of
vehicular
Suggestion
vehicle
movement
Suggestion
movements
 in the big cities
,
Accept space
,
 these
Use synonyms
increase
Suggestion
increases
has caused
Suggestion
have caused
 several difficulties that
has raised
Suggestion
have raised
 a proposal by some state to ban private cars from the central cities. In my opinion, the banning of private cars should be implemented as there have been
increase
Use synonyms
 of human fatigue caused by everyday traffic congestion we encounter on the
city
Use synonyms
road
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in the
city
Use synonyms
 we have almost all the major businesses running
day
Use synonyms
 to
day
Use synonyms
 activities that has caused
congestion making
Accept comma addition
congestion, making
 it difficult for everyone to access
,
Accept space
,
as a result
Linking Words
 of these, other
road
Use synonyms
 users often encounter traffic caused majorly by private car users
hence
Linking Words
 fatigue has been their significant complaint. These
has caused
Suggestion
have caused
 decrease in human output in their Jobs or various businesses.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
companies these days have gotten negative reviews due to their sluggish customer representatives which is totally not their
fault but
Accept comma addition
fault, but
 due to the long time spent on the
road
Use synonyms
 before getting to work.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, banning private cars will help
increase
Use synonyms
 usage of other means of
transportation
Use synonyms
 that will generate more revenue for the state and encourage the state to create more means of
transportation
Use synonyms
 in the global cities. These will be highly recommended for the growth and orderliness of the
city
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the Metro Station has been left redundant for a long time because of the
increase
Use synonyms
 usage of private vehicles
,
Accept space
,
 making the train means of
transportation
Use synonyms
 go unnoticed as one of the fastest means of getting to the cities which can
also
Linking Words
 significantly help in reducing the number of private cars we have on the
road
Use synonyms
. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
 the banning of private cars in global cities will help
increase
Use synonyms
 human output in their various
place
Suggestion
places
 of work and decreasing the number of negative reviews many companies have gotten as well as
increase
Use synonyms
 the growth of using other means of
transportation
Use synonyms
 that will help the efficiency of
day
Use synonyms
 to
day
Use synonyms
 activities in the
city
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by eogunwusi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: