Children are experiencing increasing educational, social, and commercial pressures. what are the causes? what measures do you think can be taken to reduce them?

this

contemporary era, youngsters have been experiencing academic, community and merchant tension on them.

This

essay will shed light on a myriad of possible reasons behind

this

situation in

kids

, and detail some of the solutions to be addressed. To commence with, there are numerous reasons for encountering the situation.

Firstly

, It is not exaggerating to explain the pressures laid by

parents

and tutors on students for competitive qualification at eminent tertiary institutes. To exemplify, students have to sacrifice their other quality time for overwhelming classes after their authentic school hours to gain higher grades in academic.

Secondly

, the influence of social media creates a considerable amount of stress between peers.

For Instance

, expensive products

such

as instrumental boxes, school bags, tumblers and lunch boxes gifted by

parents

create envy among

kids

at schools.

Thus

, leading

such

a luxurious lifestyle from unprecedented

parents

creates tremendous invisible pressure on youngsters. There are a number of possible solutions to tackle

this

argument.

Firstly

Parents

should allow some precious time for extracurricular activities.

This

will motivate them to use their authentic interests and passion for joyful learning.

Secondly

, enhances the communication between guardians and juveniles as it leads to a smooth friendly relationship between offspring which, reduces the physical and mental barriers in

kids

Last

but not least, alleviates the usage of social media in offspring,

consequently

reducing the harmful impacts on peers. In a nutshell, strength among peers through social websites and competitive educational fields creates an enormous force on

kids

Instead

, expanding the genuine hours for

kids

to spend quality time for their actual interests and goals.

Submitted by athulyaraj0011 on Mon Apr 29 2024

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Language use

Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance readability and complexity. Use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.

Language use

Make sure to proofread your essay for minor errors in spelling and grammar to ensure clarity and professionalism.

Content development

To further improve your score, try to include more specific examples and evidence to back up your points, making your argument more compelling.

Structure

You provided a well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Content coverage

You effectively addressed both parts of the question, exploring reasons for pressures on children and suggesting measures to reduce these pressures.

Lexical resource

Good use of topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'academic, community and merchant tension', 'competitive qualification', 'extracurricular activities').

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Pressures
Stress
Competition
Expectations
Peer influence
Technology
Media
Standardization
Balanced lifestyle
Extracurriculars
Education reform
Financial support

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Children are experiencing increasing educational, social, and commercial pressures. what are the causes? what measures do you think can be taken to reduce them?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some are of the opinion that children below the age of 12 shouldn’t be allowed to have a mobile phone. Others believe that mobile phones are a useful tool for children of all ages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

in some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. what problems does this cause and what are some of possible solutions?