IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Opinions on food are changing rapidly and there are many who believe that everyone chould follow a vegetarian diet because it would have a positive impact in our health and the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

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People's outlooks toward food are shifting very quickly. Many argue that vegetarian diets should be followed universally
due to
Linking Words
 their benefits for
health
Use synonyms
 and the environment. Whilst some may argue
otherwise
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, their positive effects for both our and our planet's wellbeing must be stated.
Firstly
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, opting for plant-based diets
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 positive for the environment because
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 carbon dioxide emissions responsible for global warming.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that processing
meat
Use synonyms
 requires far more energy which is primarily produced by fossil fuels, like coal, that release significant amounts of carbon dioxide when burned.
For instance
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, it takes a typical
meat
Use synonyms
 processing plant four times as much energy to produce a kilogram of
meat
Use synonyms
 than it takes a mill to get the same amount of corn.
Thus
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,
it is clear that
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 a
meat
Use synonyms
-based diet contributes far more toward global warming than a plant-based alternative.
Moreover
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, vegetarian diets are more beneficial for our
health
Use synonyms
 and
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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 as well.
This
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 is because many staples of a vegetarian diet do not increase cholesterol or blood pressure
unlike
Add the comma(s)
, unlike
show examples
 most
meat
Use synonyms
 products.
For example
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, a portion of cooked beef causes a spike in blood pressure almost immediately upon being consumed,
whereas
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 a portion of peas and carrots not only do not, but they even contribute toward reducing blood pressure thanks to their ability to clean veins.
To sum up
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, even though some may deny the positive effects of vegetarianism for our
health
Use synonyms
 and environment, given its positive effects
for
Change preposition
on
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 heart and vein
health
Use synonyms
as well as
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 its contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 slowing down global warming, it is vividly clear that plants are the far better option.

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and addresses the question effectively, but consider addressing potential counterarguments more explicitly to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully developed with supporting details. For instance, the environmental impact of vegetarian diets could be elaborated further with additional specific examples or data.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is mostly clear and easy to follow. However, the essay would benefit from a more explicit transition between ideas, especially when moving from environmental impacts to health benefits.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument and summarizing key points.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, such as the comparison between meat and plant-based food production.
task achievement
The essay maintains a clear and consistent stance, contributing to a coherent and persuasive argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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