Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society

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Social networking websites like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram have become an important part of our everyday life.

However

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, it is argued that these sites have a devastating effect on the community and the individuals. I strongly agree with the thought that social websites have a profound negative effect.

To begin

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with, social networking sites have started hurting relationships. In the present world, people spend a lot of time online.

Hence

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, they do not have time to visit their friends or relatives.

As a result

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, relationships have become shallow.

For example

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, in the earlier days, individuals used to have get-

togethers

in contact with each other or in proximity

together

at least once a month, but nowadays most of the people do not even know many of their relatives.

Consequently

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, there are no close helpful relationships in

this

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era. Addiction is another drawback of social networks which leads to failure in almost every field. Most of the people waste hours in front of computers or mobile phones chatting and posting on Facebook and Twitter and

thus

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they fail to pay attention to their work.

For instance

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, students do not perform their best in the exams or fail because they spend more time online

instead

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of studying.

As a result

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, social networking sites hinder the progress of the individual and

also

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of the society. In conclusion,

although

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Facebook and

such

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sites are beneficial to some extent, I strongly agree with the argument that they have

more detrimental effect

Suggestion

a more detrimental effect

more detrimental effects

on both the local community and the people. It is hoped that users will realize

this

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and learn to use

such

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platforms more judiciously.

Submitted by ttnnguyen159 on Wed Jun 19 2019

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

erosion
face-to-face
interactions
privacy concerns
data breaches
misinformation
polarize
cyberbullying
online harassment
procrastination
productivity
social isolation
dissemination
breeding ground
vast amounts
personal information
mental health

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