Some believe that educational success is based on good teachers, while others believe that it depends upon the student’s attitude. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are so many factors that make people earn a successful soul, and
one
of them is education. Some people believe that a student's approach will bring a successful activity, while
others feel that good teams are impacted more by it. This
essay will explain why a student's attitude is the number one
factor to makes a human become a successful person.
On the one
hand, it is a beneficial thing when individuals have a good team. Organizations who
are able to explain materials in school can help students obtain a large number of knowledge. They can easily understand about somethings since their teachers have a unique method of the courses. But, we should know that Correct pronoun usage
that
although
crew have those abilities, not all students will obtain the knowledge as not all of them have the intention to study in the classes. For instance
, good teachers will only be labelled those who focus on family.
On the other hand
, attitude is the most valuable thing that individuals must have. When the class is over, folks that have attitude will still study other things outside the class. They will improve other's skills such
as communication, how to be polite with other society, leadership, etc which are materials that can make humans become successful. The material in the degree is only a small modal that can bring a successful activity. Thus
, in reality, depending on a good teacher only is not enough to bring a better life for humans. For example
, when a successful businessman has a big company that has a great income,
but doesn't have a good approach, that business might not go in the right direction as she or he cannot deal with employers who have many problems. Remove the comma
apply
In contrast
, when she or he has a good approach, they can communicate well with their employers or even customers to gain an agreement that will put the company in a better position.
In conclusion, having good mentors is beneficial for our growth as they can help us to gain knowledge in school, but mindset is still the number one
factor that can bring community to a successful growth as we can have many materials from outside the class. I, therefore
, agree with those who said that success depends on the crowd's angle.Submitted by alfathemaster on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing both sides of the argument. However, the explanation making the connection between students' attitudes and their success could be more explicit. More specific examples and clearer lines of reasoning would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows well into the next and that sentences within each paragraph are logically connected. Transitional phrases can also help improve the flow. Avoid ambiguous language to ensure clarity.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay covers both views on the topic and provides a clear opinion towards the end, which shows a balanced perspective.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?