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Band 5.5

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the healthcare system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #healthcare #system #effort #health #education #lessons #school #curriculum
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It cannot be disputed that, in the recent decade, people are suffering from a great deal of weight related
health
Use synonyms
 issues,
thus
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 exerting a burden on the healthcare system. In order to curb
this
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 problem, certain demographics of the society believe that schools should introduce more fitness lessons in their curriculum.
This
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 essay will completely agree with the aforementioned suggestion and provide substantial evidence to support the statement.
To begin
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 with, most diseases faced by the population today are linked to lifestyle factors, namely diabetes, hypertension, heart diseases etc., putting a strain on the healthcare system. A large part of the youth is suffering from obesity,
hence
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 developing various
health
Use synonyms
 problems prematurely. The reason for
this
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 increasing trend of overweight individuals can be linked to sedentary pursuits, enjoyed by the youth today. Unlike olden days, children no longer engage in outdoor activities, rather stay in the comfort of their homes to communicate and play with their friends online. A study showed that among 100 children interviewed at a local
neighborhood
a surrounding or nearby region
neighbourhood
 regarding the way they spend their leisure time,
majority
Suggestion
the majority
a majority
 of them chose sedentary activities like watching television or playing video games.
Therefore
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, it can be discerned that lack of proper education and awareness is a major factor
for
Suggestion
in
 these unhealthy life choices. Schools can be the key players to address
this
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 matter urgently, by incorporating physical education as part of their regular curriculum.
This
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 will enable children to learn the importance of having an active lifestyle
,
Accept space
,
as well
as encourage to
Suggestion
as to encourage
 them
participate
Suggestion
to participate
 in various sports activities, which will not only improve their physical
health
Use synonyms
, but
also
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 mental development. To conclude, I believe that introducing more physical education lessons in school curriculum is essentially a great way towards shaping a considerably more
health
Use synonyms
 conscious society. Educational institutes should come forward with better strategies to encourage children towards healthy lifestyles.
Submitted by arunima_0101 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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