some countries encourage foreign companies to open in their country. many people think that government should focus on encouraging local businesses rather than foreign businesses. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays, world business has rapidly developed. People always improve their skills and knowledge to be the best in the marketing field. The quick improvement in business has prompted challenges
in
most entrepreneurs especially in small and medium Change preposition
for
enterprises
. In my personal view, I agree with people who think governments should support local Use synonyms
businesses
more than foreign Use synonyms
enterprises
.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, local Linking Words
businesses
had their own uniqueness in both products and services. Use synonyms
This
will be Linking Words
a
main reason to attract tourists to come visit and spend their budget on local Correct article usage
the
businesses
. Use synonyms
For Example
, in the South of Linking Words
Thailand
they have many popular local restaurants and distinctive products Add a comma
Thailand,
such
as traditional goods or Linking Words
beautiful
crafted souvenirs which can impress tourists not only foreigners but Change the adjective
beautifully
also
Thai Linking Words
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
too
. Rephrase
apply
Those
above examples will have an impact in various parts, Correct determiner usage
The
this
will increase hiring rates and Linking Words
also
impact Linking Words
on
domestic Change preposition
apply
economical
activities.
Assuming thatCorrect word choice
economic
,
governments are allowed foreigners to create their Remove the comma
apply
businesses
in domestic countries. They might legislate to control foreign Use synonyms
enterprises
to not ruin local business models. Use synonyms
Due to
economic competition, there are a lot of Linking Words
businesses
in the market that will challenge all companies to improve their services and products. Use synonyms
This
will be beneficial to consumers and governments will receive more taxes from entrepreneurs.
In summary, I totally agree with the statement that Linking Words
said
the government should support and encourage local companies more than international Verb problem
apply
enterprises
because Use synonyms
this
will uphold the domestic economic system and Linking Words
it
will be beneficial to people in the country.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Submitted by matty10
on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay presents a clear and logical structure. While your essay had a recognizable introduction, body, and conclusion, it would benefit from clearer and more distinct paragraph organization to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Be diligent with the introduction and conclusion. Both should clearly address the task question and restate your main points succinctly. Your introduction successfully paraphrased the question, but the conclusion could have been more concise and reflective of your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with relevant examples and explanations. You have provided an example related to tourism in the South of Thailand, but additional specific and varied examples to support your points would enhance your response.
task achievement
Fulfill the task entirely by equally addressing all parts of the question. Your essay leans towards supporting local businesses but lacks depth in discussing the merits of foreign companies and a balanced consideration of the issue.
task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive main ideas. While your essay addresses the relevant topic, the ideas presented require more depth and exploration to fully answer the question. Ensure that each paragraph explores a single main idea thoroughly before moving to the next.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. The example you provided about the South of Thailand is a good start, but additional and more varied examples are necessary to sufficiently expand and strengthen your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.