some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Certain individuals opine that music is a great method of uniting people of various cultural backgrounds and

age

grades. In my opinion, I completely agree with

this

statement as it is a form of relaxation and some renditions comprise of folklore stories

Accept space

To begin

with, entertainment is one of the ways music brings people with different practices and

age

grades in

union

Suggestion

the union

.By

this

I mean, when foreigners come

in to

expresses motion to a point on, or within, something

into

a particular country for recreational purposes, different cultural beliefs are present. They get to interact and know more about one another,

as a result

, togetherness is fostered.

This

further

exemplified in 2018, when P square

Accept space

the famous Nigerian musicians which comprises of twin brothers

Accept space

held a concert tagged Mega

jamz

Suggestion

Jamz

This

had in attendance, individuals from diverse nations and

age

class. They had fun and interacted amongst

them selves

reflexive form of "them"

themselves

Thus

, strengthening the ties between these

set

Suggestion

sets

of people. Another point to consider is that some songs consist of folklore stories.

In other words

, elderlies sing

this

type of song to the younger generation at bed times.

Hence

, fostering the unity amongst various

age

categories. To simplify

further

Accept space

in my home town, the children usually dance as grandmothers

render

Arctic deer with large antlers in both sexes; called 'reindeer' in Eurasia and 'caribou' in North America

reindeer

songs at bed times to their

grand children

a child of your son or daughter

grandchildren

during folktales.

This

has

made the young

Suggestion

made, the younger

made the younger

generation to always confide more in their grand mothers' than in their biological mothers. To conclude

Accept space

the

essentiality

Suggestion

essence

essentials

of music can never be downplayed

Accept space

I am still of the view that it is a useful tool in uniting all kinds of people in terms of cultural differences and

age

range because it entertains the public and

also

contains

informations

a message received and understood

information

about the past. 272 words 39 mins

Submitted by dera_levison on Thu Jun 20 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some pople believe that children should be taught academic subject at school, while other think that teaching pratical skills is more important. discuss both view and give your own opinion.

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