IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Watching television is bad for children. Use specific details and examples to support your answer

#television #children #support
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Today
,
Accept space
,
 everyone in
modern era
Suggestion
the modern era
 has
Use synonyms
television
Suggestion
a television
 in their
homes
Suggestion
home
. Some people
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believed
 that watching
television
Use synonyms
 is bad for their
kidshealth
Suggestion
kids' health
kids health
. So, they restrict their adolescence from watching
tv
Use synonyms
. But others disagree with it. According to my view,
television
Use synonyms
 play pivotal role in
infants
Suggestion
infant
infant's
infants'
 development. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 will discuss both
side
Suggestion
sides
 of the arguments and represent my opinion.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
television
Use synonyms
 helps a
child
Use synonyms
 to
extent
Suggestion
extend
 his or her range of interests. Children can find out many new things and make many
exiting
creating or arousing excitement
exciting
 discoveries for themselves.
In addition
Linking Words
 to these practical benefits
television
Use synonyms
 improves children's vocabulary, their memory and gives them the opportunity to gain more knowledge. I think it is very essential for a
child
Use synonyms
. Of
cause
education imparted in a series of lessons or meetings
course
, someone can say that there are plenty of different recourses of information
such
Linking Words
 as books and teachers. But, I think, in our modern world children must learn faster and use all contemporary technology in order to succeed.
Second
Linking Words
 of all, watching cognitive programs helps children to learn more about
wild life
all living things (except people) that are undomesticated
wildlife
, our environment and about the importance of preserving our
forest
Suggestion
forests
 and wild animals that live there. Scientists say that a
child
Use synonyms
 should not watch
TV
Use synonyms
 more
Linking Words
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 40 minutes successively.
For example
Linking Words
, my mother always made us have a break after watching
TV
Use synonyms
 more
Linking Words
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 half an hour and let our eyes rest for several minutes before turning on the
TV
Use synonyms
 again. I think it is the best solution. To sum up, I believe that
television
Use synonyms
 gives children and all people the opportunity to learn what
can not
can not
cannot
 be
learn
Suggestion
learned
 from books.
Television
Use synonyms
 and movies
in particular
Linking Words
 allow people to feel the reality and see what they will most likely not be able to see in their lives. Personally, when I was a
Use synonyms
child I
Accept comma addition
child, I
 liked to watch cognitive programs about wild animals. Unfortunately, my family had only one
TV
Use synonyms
, but these programs were the only ones we all wanted to watch. So, we gathered in our living room and watched them in complete silence and I always remember those moments with a smile on my face.
Submitted by anushaari054 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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