IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You have recently moved to a different house. Write a letter to an English speaking friend. In your letter explain why you have moved describe the new house invite your friend to come and visit You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ............,

Dear April, How are you? I hope you are doing well. Recently, I've moved into my new house in
the Philippines, Cebu City
Correct word order
Cebu City, the Philippines
show examples
.
Finally
Linking Words
, I could pass the entrance exam, so I'm going to be a student at the University of Cebu. My goal came true. I've been renting the apartment since I came here. I was so amazed because the monthly fee was so cheap
than
Correct word choice
compared to what
show examples
 I expected, even
my
Correct word choice
though my
show examples
 apartment is located in the heart of the city and is fully furnished. That's why I'm planning to hold a party in my room, because it has kicthen, spacious rooms and so on. I'm going to hold a party on June 16. I’ve invited a lot of friends. Probably, you can make some friends here. Please tell me if you are available. I really look forward to meeting you again. I hope you can reply to my message as soon as possible. Take care of yourself. My friend, Kazuya

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, say more about why you moved. You said you will study there, but add one more clear reason.
task response
For task response, describe the new home with more clear detail, like how many rooms there are and what you like most.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, link ideas with easy words like and, so, because, but.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, keep one main idea in each part: move, house, visit.
coherence and cohesion
Check some word forms and small grammar so your meaning is more clear.
task response
For task response, you answered all three parts of the letter.
task response
For task response, the invite is clear and warm.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your letter has a clear opening, middle, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the paragraphs are easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: