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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people. Why is this? What can be done to encourage local people to visit museums and historical sites?

#museums #sites #tourists #people #visit
Tourists visit the historical places and museums more than the native people.
This
 essay will discuss some reasons for
this
 situation and provide possible solutions to tackle
this
 concern. It is a human tendency that we generally take things for granted which are in abundance or easily accessible.
This
 is one of the reasons that local people do not value the artefacts, history which is
near
Suggestion
nearest
 to them. They have grown up hearing the stories about the ancient culture and historical events of the place.
Therefore people
Accept comma addition
Therefore, people
 neither take
interest
Suggestion
an interest
 in the
story nor
Accept comma addition
story, nor
 do they make
effort
Suggestion
an effort
efforts
 to verify the content.
Furthermore
, they know
shortcomings
Suggestion
the shortcomings
 of the museum or site and human psychology always give far more emphasis on drawbacks than to benefits.
For example
, it is estimated that more than half of the nearby population has not visited the Taj Mahal in Agra which is one of
top tourist destination
Suggestion
the top tourist destinations
top tourist destinations
 in the world. Locals thought they already know too much and give more importance to demerits rather than appreciating the beauty of the Taj Mahal. There are two possible mutually exhaustive solutions to abate
this
 problem.
Firstly
,
a
Suggestion
an
 inclusive approach is needed. Local people should be involved by conducting trivia, quizzes about the said
destination so
Accept comma addition
destination, so
 that they get to show off their knowledge of the place. In
this
 process, they may
also
 realize their knowledge gap and it may pique their interest
further
.
Secondly
, nothing is better than good publicity. An advertisement consisting of unknown facts about the fabulous past, artefacts
etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
 will substantially draw the locals. After that, word of mouth is all will be needed. To conclude, the reasons
such
 as half knowledge and abundance deter the locals to visit the destination of historical importance. But targeted events
such
 as quizzes, trivia to increase their involvement and good publicity can promote the tourism to their local pride by native people.
Submitted by anuj_nitkstudy on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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