IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A restaurant has placed an advertisement for waiters and waitresses in your local newspaper. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: explain what you are currently doing describe your suitability for this area of work say when you can attend an interview.

#restaurant #advertisement #waiters #waitresses #newspaper #minutes #job #suitability #area #work #interview
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Dear Mr Jakhob, I am writing
this
 letter to express my interest in the waiter/waitress position that your restaurant has recently advertised in a daily newspaper called the Johny. I have some
experience
 working in the food service industry, and I
also
 believe that my skills and
experience
 make me a deserving candidate for the job. As for my
experience
, I have worked as a waitress at a busy downtown restaurant for over two years. During
this
 time, I have gained practical
experience
 – taking orders, serving food and drinks, and handling online orders and payments. I have
also
 learned to work in a fast-paced environment, solve customer complaints, and prioritise tasks effectively.
Additionally
, I have had the opportunity to serve a diverse range of customers and have learned how to provide excellent customer service. I would like to meet with you at your convenience, to discuss the possibility of working at your hotel. Yours faithfully, Tom
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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coherence cohesion
The letter occasionally deviates from the logical flow. Aim to organise the paragraphs in a manner that each contains a unique point, beginning with an introduction, followed by experience, suitability, and then the conclusion.
task achievement
While the letter addresses most aspects of the task, there is a notable omission in not stating the applicant's current activities. Ensure each point of the task is fully elaborated for a complete response.
general
The closing statement feels abrupt and should be refined to sound more professional. Moreover, ensure consistency in the writing tone throughout the letter.
general
The switch between first and third person (Tom instead of I/My) is inappropriate for this type of letter. Avoid unnecessary shifts in perspective within the text.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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