in some countries, owning a house rather than renting one is very improtant fro people. why might this be the case? do you think this is positive or negative situation?
Some countries'
people
may think that owning an accommodation is more vital than renting.
This
essay will analyze what reason led to this
concept and regard this
situation as a drawback.
Initially
, one primary reason is that purchasing a property can increase the safety of humans. This
is because residents can alleviate some financial stress after owning an accommodation. Pressures, such
as renting fees, generally are a significant number of expenses for people
's lives, especially for ordinary employees rather than managers. Consequently
, without the financial burden, the quality of human life will be improved considerably; simultaneously, they can pay more attention to other desires, such
as purchasing transportation, traveling
abroad, and other important goals.
Change the spelling
travelling
However
, in modern society, buying living arrangements has become a detrimental circumstance. In fact, most residents do not have adequate resources to purchase a house. Due to
the exponentially escalating house prices, owning a home has nearly become an impossible option.
Accordingly
, to fulfill this
target. People
start to borrow money
from banks. Nevertheless
, these financial institutions contain some interest while
borrowing from them. With the interest, people
will find that it is harder to pay the money
back to banks, eventually falling into a vicious cycle.
To sum up
, I firmly believe that receiving a living arrangement is a disadvantage in contemporary times. Owning an accommodation can indeed provide certain benefits, such
as feeling more secure, thereby reducing living stress. However
, borrowing money
to achieve this
goal is a serious issue. Owing to additional interest, this
situation will ultimately result in people
finding it more difficult to pay the money
back.Submitted by daniellin0717 on
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task achievement
While your essay covers both parts of the task, offering reasons for why owning a house might be important and discussing whether this is positive or negative, the discussion appears a bit generic. Try to provide more specific examples and details for a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are well-developed. Each body paragraph should ideally have a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence to reinforce the main idea.
general
There are a few grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrases. Review your essay for better sentence structure, grammar, and vocabulary usage.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easier to follow your argument from start to finish.
supported main points
The main points are reasonably well-supported, and the essay tries to resolve the question by providing arguments and counterarguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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