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Band 7.5

«Prevention is better than cure». Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest into preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?

#«prevention #cure» #diseases #measures
It is obvious that the only one way to be cured is to achieve worthwhile treatment which is based on a solid research behind it. In my opinion, I fully support an idea each medical disease which may arise should be prevented in advance. To start with, it is certainly well-known that the vast majority of people are not healthy-conscious because of their high pace of a life and ignorance for occasional hurts throughout a body.
As a result
, some diseases could be developing in people’s bodies for many years and
then
 it could lead to serious emergency outcomes
such
 as hospitalisation.
Consequently
, individuals are demanding for medical treatment which is most commonly covered by insurance,
thus
 individuals are able to qualify for manipulations
such
 a surgery or a drug prescription.
Consequently
, sick people are getting better because of the timely approach for a care from the side of doctors and medical staff.
However
, it is true that serious treatments can be eliminated if people would pay more attention for their
health
.
For instance
, people who are interested in changes of their bodies could make a quick medical
check-up procedure
Accept comma addition
check-up, procedure
 which is possible to attend at almost every hospital.
Therefore
, they will be aware of various
health
 troubles from a flu to
cancer which
Accept comma addition
cancer, which
 could be appeared in case lack of warning action will be done.
Therefore
, it is more simple to prevent a serious illness rather than spend a lot of resources
such
 as time and money to find the right instruments for healing process.
In contrast
, if the person chooses not to pay attention for
health
,
this
 is more likely to produce multiple diseases since the whole organism is an interconnected system with strong correlation of different functions. In conclusion,
although
 receiving an instant response from doctors is often an easier approach for individuals to handle with their
health
, I would argue that significance of awareness for upcoming diseases could bring more confidence in a future life.
Submitted by jhjh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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