Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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These days,

children

Use synonyms

spend most of their time on smartphones and other smart devices.

Due to

Linking Words

that, they have to suffer through mental, physical and emotional challenges at a very young age.

Hence

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, to me,

this

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is a negative development and

this

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essay will provide reasons behind my view. To start with, there can be various reasons behind

children

Use synonyms

actively using technology. After the covid, many schools have now shifted their lectures online and

due to

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that many

children

Use synonyms

were introduced to smartphones.

Furthermore

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, many

children

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prefer to play games online rather than physically playing in nature.

For example

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due to

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a lack of family time, many parents allow their

children

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to play online games so they don't have to pay much attention to them and they can enjoy their leisure time.

Hence

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, parents are equally responsible as they fail to control their

children

Use synonyms

for

this

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habit.

Due to

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this

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, many

children

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face multiple health challenges at a young age.

Due to

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a lack of physical activities and longer screen times, many young individuals experience obesity.

Also

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, some of them suffer from eye diseases

due to

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the emission of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

UV radiation.

For instance

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, my brother suffered from mental trauma because he was addicted to violent games and he is still not able to recover. The youth is suffering and

hence

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, I consider it as a huge negative development. In conclusion, I believe there are multiple reasons behind

children

Use synonyms

using smartphones at a very early stage but the outcomes are more dangerous.

However

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, there can be many solutions to solve

this

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central problem. But for now,

this

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is a huge negative development.

tirththakkar23Sun May 12 2024

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Language use

Although your essay presents a clear position and relevant examples, try to introduce a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the complexity and fluency of your arguments.

Task Achievement

Consider expanding on ideas with further explanation or additional examples, especially in the body paragraphs. This will strengthen your argument and help achieve a higher score for task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve coherence, transitional phrases can be used more effectively to create smoother connections between sentences and ideas.

Structure

Your essay has a clear structure, with a pronounced introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which is excellent for coherence and cohesion.

Examples

You effectively use examples to support your points, making your arguments more persuasive.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that children today are not as fit and healthy as in the past. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

45.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?