IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people believe that countries should produce food for all populations and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #food #populations #import
The question of how many food variations should be presented on the market has
provokes
Suggestion
provoked
 an ongoing debate. While some people support the idea that governments should decrease
level
Suggestion
the level
levels
 of imported food and sustain locally produced goods, I would firmly disagree with the above stated position.
First
, it
is proven
Suggestion
proves
 that because of the more northern climate some countries cannot cultivate specific fruits and vegetables like mango or avocado,
for instance
,
such
 countries as Sweden or Norway. Because of that, they have to satisfy
demand
Suggestion
the demand
demands
 of its consumers via shipments from warmer countries where cultivation is possible.
Hence
, it is undeniable that a privilege to consume exotic foods is not feasible without the support of external
markets which
Accept comma addition
markets, which
 can export them in order to cover people’s needs,
otherwise
, people may face difficulties to achieve vital vitamins among their nutrition.
Second
, it is well-known that production of some specific products
such
 as beverages in PET-bottles can hurt
country’s environment
Suggestion
the country’s environment
.
For instance
, some steps in the technological process may lead to air pollution, excessive emission of CO2 and other unpleasant consequences. Because of that, some governments as
Switzerland
Accept comma addition
Switzerland, for
for instance
, took a decision to ban production of PET-bottles and distribute them only as imported goods with
further
 recycling.
That is
 why, It is quite clear why some politicians are advocating for imported products in regard to save their environment. In conclusion, while there are many arguments against distribution of foreign goods, I would firmly agree with the view that products from external markets can become a true relief when it comes to comprehensive nutrition for well-being or willingness to keep nature in safe.
Submitted by jhjh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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