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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people do not mind to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while some people prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #mind #leisure #time #colleagues #life #work
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How should people spend their personal
time
 has become a hot topic of discussion these days. Some people perceive that we need to spend more
time
 with our colleagues while others believe that our personal
time
 shouldn’t be involved with our
work
 life. In
this
 essay, I shall discuss both perspectives in detail before reaching a final verdict that both perspectives hold equal significance. There are various compelling reasons why it is beneficial for us to socialize with our colleagues when we have spare
time
 and the prominent one is that a close collaboration among co-workers can enhance the revenue and help businesses flourish as staff members tend to put in their best effort to
work
 when they enjoy the
work
 environment. To illustrate, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that nearly 80% of Japanese companies arrange numerous social activities for their employees to strengthen their bond. For
this
 reason, it is essential to spend more
time
 with our co-workers.
However
, some oppose
this
 notion and says that it’s better
to not mix
Suggestion
not mixing
 up our valuable private
time
 and
work
time
 as we
work
 long hours nowadays, so it is significant for us to have some rests from
work
. Take myself
for example
, I am a little
introverted so
Accept comma addition
introverted, so
 normally I go to
gym
Suggestion
the gym
 or jog in the park when I have free
time
 because I believe exercising is the most efficient way for me to unwind from
work
 stress. As can be seen, it is
also
 crucial for us to have our own private
time
. To sum up, people’s opinions towards how to spend the leisure
time
 is various. Taking everything into consideration, I’m inclined to say that we just need to choose the most suitable and beneficial way for us to enjoy our spare
time
 according to our own personalities and needs.
Submitted by 1162242983 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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