Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #opportunity

Some people argue that

most essential thing

Suggestion

the most essential thing

about being rich is it provides a person the chance to aid other people.

However

, I

am agree

Suggestion

agree

have agreed

with

this

notion due to some reasons below. On the one hand, rich people

helps

Suggestion

help

local public in many ways.

Firstly

, they pay huge amounts of tax, which provides money to the government to build great infrastructure, excellent

helth

a healthy state of wellbeing free from disease

health

services and education systems, and

that is

all become easy for the government because of the rich people.

Secondly

, because the rich people of

nation

Suggestion

the nation

a nation

have enough money to spend, they provide lots of job placements for qualified employees by

build

Suggestion

building

up new organizations.

For example

, Mukesh

Ambani one

Accept comma addition

Ambani, one

of India's richest man recently launched a big company called GEO, it is a telecom company, which gives jobs to many people in India.

Moreover

, richest people

also

become ideal for many people. Because nobody

become

Suggestion

becomes

wealthier over a night.

Their

Suggestion

There

was

struggle

Suggestion

a struggle

behind

everyone

Suggestion

everyone's

life. So in that way they become motivation for struggling people and inspired them

Accept space

which helps the people to succeed in their lives and in their fields. It is

also

beneficial for

nation

Suggestion

the nation

, because

more successful

Suggestion

most successful

people build the most powerful nation

Accept space

In conclusion, no doubt that rich people are very advantageous

for

Suggestion

public and

country

Suggestion

the country

too.

Submitted by brarpardeep303 on Thu Jun 27 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

217 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealthy
financial resources
philanthropy
charitable organizations
donations
fundraising
support
initiatives
contribute
fulfillment
purpose
selfless
altruistic
prioritize
personal gain

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Some countries today have passed laws against smoking tobacco in public buildings such as offices and restaurants. Other countries have no intention of doing this. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion on which side you favour.