IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
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Businesses have always sought to make
profits but
Accept comma addition
profits, but
 it is becoming increasingly common to hear people talk about the social obligations that companies have
.
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.
I completely agree with the idea that businesses should do more for
society
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 than simply make money. On the one hand, I accept that businesses must make money in order to survive in a comparative word. It seems logical that the priority of any
company
Use synonyms
 should be to cover its running costs,
such
Linking Words
 as
employees
Suggestion
employees'
employee
 wages and payments for buildings and utilities. On the top of these costs, companies
also
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 need to invest in improvements and innovations if they wish to remain successful. If a
company
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 is unable to pay its bills or meet the changing needs of the customers, any concerns about social responsibilities become irrelevant.
In other words
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, a
company
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 can only make a positive contribution to the
society
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 if it is in a good financial health.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, companies
should not be run
Suggestion
should not run
 with the sole aim of maximizing profits. They have a vital role to play in
society
Use synonyms
. One social obligation that owners and managers have is to treat their employees
wel
(often used as a combining form) in a good or proper or satisfactory manner or to a high standard ('good' is a nonstandard dialectal variant for 'well')
well
, rather than exploiting them.
For example
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, they could pay a living wage to ensure that the workers have a good quality of life. I
also
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 like the idea that businesses could use a proportion of their profits to support local charities
,
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,
 environmental projects and educative initiatives.
Finally
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,
instead
Linking Words
 of trying to minimise their tax payments by using accounting loopholes, I believe that
company
Use synonyms
 bosses should be happy to contribute to
society
Use synonyms
 through the text system. In conclusion, I believe that
Use synonyms
company
Suggestion
companies
a company
the company
 should place as much importance on their social responsibilities as they do on their financial objectives.
Submitted by mandeepjeiya on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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