IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

High job demands, stress and sense of commitment are among the main reasons people go to work when they are ill. This way they accomplish important tasks, but may infect others or get some serious health problems themselves. In your opinion should people go to work if they are sick? Support your point of view with relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#job #demands #stress #sense #commitment #people #work #tasks #health #support #point
We live in a fast paced society  and people don’t
[
Accept space
[
o] want to slow down even when they are sick. In the  quest to meet deadlines and accomplish important tasks
,
Accept space
,
employees often go to
work
  when they are sick not caring about their health or that of others around them. I believe
this
 act is wrong and employees should not be allowed to come to
work
 when they are sick as
such
sickness
 can be highly contagious and the employee won’t
[
Accept space
[
p] function efficiently.
Firstly
, a sick
person
 
shouldnt
should not
shouldn't
 [q
]
Accept space
]
come to
work
 because their
sickness
 might be highly contagious.
For instance
, if  a
person
 that has flu comes to the office, he/she can infect someone else as
this
 is highly contagious. It is advisable for a sick
person
 to stay at home, use his drugs and get better so as not to infect others with his diseases.
Also
, If the
person
 comes to the office, his condition might worsen and in the quest of accomplishing his task he will create more harm to himself than
good
Suggestion
well
 as his brain will be disturbed.
Furthermore
, sick people shouldn’t come to
work
 as the
sickness
 might stay longer.[r] Most times, people fall ill due to stress and lack of rest. So
,
Accept space
,
if a sick
person
 who should be resting comes to
work
, he might worsen his situation and his
sickness
 might stay longer. It is advisable that a sick
person
 should be well rested so he can recover quickly and once he is back on his feet, he will be able to function perfectly, all tasks will be accomplished and deadlines met. Some people might say that the sick
person
 ought to come to
work
 in order to perform all the
task
Suggestion
tasks
 expected of him.
However
, it should be noted that
such
person
  won’t function effectively as he isn’t in his right frame of mind and his brain is muddled.
For instance
,
work
 that he would ordinarily finish in 30 mins will take him maybe 1 hour to complete.
Thus in
Accept comma addition
Thus, in
 the long run, he finishes the
work but
Accept comma addition
work, but
 at a slow pace thereby making him inefficient. In conclusion, people shouldn’t go to
work
 when they are sick and alternatives can help perform the required task. Companies should have sick leave as part of their benefits so staff can  take leave when they are indispensable. Companies should ensure that staff that
come
Suggestion
comes
 to
office
Suggestion
the office
 when they are sick due to their sense of commitment should be asked to go back home as “Health is Wealth”.
Submitted by Serhii Baraniuk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: