IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some parent buy their children large number of toys. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this practice

#parent #children #toys #practice
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Toys always make a
child
Use synonyms
 happy, and a parent wants to live that experience repeatedly.
As a result
Linking Words
 of that, many children end up with a large number of toys. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will
potray
portray in words
portray
 the role
such
Linking Words
 collection of toys can have on a
child
Use synonyms
's development while
analyzing
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analysing
 their impact on social interaction. On the one hand, an
almirah
a large wardrobe or cabinet; originally used for storing weapons
armoire
 full of toys gives a
child
Use synonyms
 numerous choices in developing his skills.
This
Linking Words
 is because most toys are designed to challenge and enhance a kid's mental as well as physical abilities.
For example
Linking Words
, Yo-Yo is a popular toy, and its popularity can be associated with the unique movement that amuses a
child
Use synonyms
,
in addition
Linking Words
 to sharpening his focus.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a youngster with a room full of toys can play with a focus enhancing toy in the morning and physically demanding one in the afternoon.
This
Linking Words
 usually results in better growth of children. The goodness of having a large number of toys is often undermined by the limitations they impose on young ones. As most of the toys are meant to be played alone
by
Suggestion
with
 a
child
Use synonyms
, they result in minimization of social interactions in a youngster's life. To illustrate, a study undertaken by one of the biggest daycare centres reveals that around 70% of the children living in modern Indian cities interact for less than 7 hours a week with their peers. Alternatively, if
such
Linking Words
 children do not get plenty of toys to play with, many of them would socialize more, thereby increasing their probability of future success. To conclude, having a significant number of toys can be beneficial for a
child
Use synonyms
's development, but it may come at the expense of peer bonding.
Submitted by divya.sharma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: