Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the reasons people do this? Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing?

Nowdays

Suggestion

Nowadays

, the latest procedure that seems to be trending majorly in countries is plastic surgery. People want to look younger than their actual age.

This

is predominant in the western countries and is slowly emerging in other countries as well. The very reason for

this

is the influence of social media. Many celebrities follow

this

practice to secure their image, which in turn is followed by youngsters or people who wish to imitate their idols.

For instance

, a recent survey concluded that many women who got silicon breast implants experienced severe health problems until they had them removed.

Artifical

Suggestion

Artificial

implants of any kind inserted or injected

Suggestion

into

our bodies to make us look younger or beautiful have a lot of side effects that many are not aware of

Accept space

Everyone wants to look

young

Suggestion

younger

and a certain way because beauty or exterior appearance has become a major factor influencing people these days.

This

causes insecurity and

hence

induces folks to do things to look younger due to social pressures. I personally feel

this

is a really harmful practice. It portrays us in a way that we fail to recognize our

ownselves

Suggestion

own selves

. Any foreign object being inserted into our body or any procedure

that is

said to make us look younger is just a temporary fix and is

infact

Suggestion

in fact

causing more hazards to our health than we realise.

Therefore its

Accept comma addition

Therefore, its

a myth that looking younger than our age is what appearance is about. Our ancestors aged gracefully and so are our parents. There is no benefit that we attain from trying to look younger. Time takes its toll on everyone and someday we would

age

be in accord; be in agreement

agree

urge

. Accepting and loving ourselves as we are and ageing

naturally

Suggestion

natural

nature

is good.

Submitted by chandroo689 on Sat Jun 29 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Legal age
Marriage
Maturity
Stability
Individual choice
Freedom
Cultural practices
Religious practices
Education
Career aspirations

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Many people try to look younger than their age. What are the reasons people do this? Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people argue that industrial growth is leading to poverty and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disavdantages to living in a house compared with living in an apaartment?

Topic: some people think it’s better to choose friends who always have the same opinion as them. Other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them