The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centers. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some individuals are of the opinion that the recent practice of youngsters spending more time in shopping malls, will influence them and their environment negatively. I consider that, visiting the store at will by teenagers
create
Suggestion
creates
a desperation in their minds and
this
is bad for the
society
as a whole.
Firstly
, spending leisure hours in the mall is not in itself a bad idea for people.
However
, for teenagers, it is not advisable because when they see desirable items,
temptation
Suggestion
the temptation
arises within them and they are under pressure to go the extra mile, doing everything possible to purchase the product if their parents
can not
can not
cannot
afford it. Evidently,
this
is not a good influence on the child.
Therefore
,
such
aimless visits to the malls ought to be prevented by parents.
For instance
, I have had to constantly
reitrate
pull back or move away or backward
retreat
reiterate
retreated
to my 15 year old cousin to be contented with whatever her parents give her due to the fact that her frequent trips with her friends after school hours to the store has developed in her a craving for extravagant things.
Thus
, prompting her to steal her mother's money.
Hence
, guardians should try and engage their
youths
Suggestion
youth
at leisure periods.
Secondly
, allowing youngsters to leisurely go to shopping centres not only affect the individual negatively, it
also
has
adverse effect
Suggestion
an adverse effect
adverse effects
on the
society
.
This
is because the desperation created in the minds of these children is a seed which will germinate into theft.
In addition
, many of the armed robbers out there today started from just being
coveteous
showing extreme cupidity; painfully desirous of another's advantages
covetous
. An example is that of a renowned hired
assasin
a murderer (especially one who kills a prominent political figure) who kills by a surprise attack and often is hired to do the deed
assassin
who is presently on death row. He blamed his father for indulging him too much when he was young. He arrived home whenever he pleases and nothing his parents gave him was ever enough.
Lastly
, parents should train their children to be good citizens and not breed rogues for the
society
. In conclusion, while spending free time to shop is not bad, I think parents should frow
n
Suggestion
on
at it because it creates desperation in young minds and the
society
will be at the receiving en
d aftera
Suggestion
after all
ll
Submitted by Dammy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: