Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cell #phone #security #cameras #cases #development

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It is true that the prevalence of technology use in tracking people’s communication and behaviour with the help of

cellphones

Suggestion

cell phones

or security cameras has become increasingly popular around the world in recent years.

Although

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this

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trend exerts negative effects on our daily life to

certain extent

Suggestion

a certain extent

, the advantages it offers are even more significant than its disadvantages. On the one hand, the act of using tracking devices to monitor whatever people say or do has several obvious drawbacks to their lives.

First

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this

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practice partly

Accept comma addition

practice, partly

restricts humans’ freedom as well as invades their privacy.

For instance

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, people are likely to feel less free and comfortable to do daily tasks when they know to be watched all the time by others.

As a result

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this

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acts as a deterrent for people to enjoy their lives fully.

Moreover

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, if

such

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personal information collected from supervising equipments leaked out and are utilized for wrong purposes

Accept space

citizens would even have to suffer from more serious dangers

such

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as blackmail.

This

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, in turn, could certainly trigger great concerns for national residents,

also

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lead to their annoyance and strong oppose to those technological facilities.

On the other hand

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, there are more important benefits of using technology to follow people’s behaviours. One of these advantages is that it makes

enormous contribution

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an enormous contribution

enormous contributions

to investigating

process

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the process

and punishment crime

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the police.

For example

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, records from surveillance cameras could greatly assist the police to trace back criminals much easier and faster or prosecute them with more compelling evidence in court.

In addition

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, when people realized that they are videotaped or recorded all the time, they have

tendency

Suggestion

tended

to be more thoughtful of every action.

For instance

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, the presence of CCTV everywhere discourages petty criminals

such

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as shoplifters and pickpockets from committing offences for the fear of being recognised by others.

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This

Suggestion

Thus

as a result

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, acts as an incentive for humans’ better behaviours, which benefits not only individuals but

also

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the society as a whole. In conclusion, the use of technology to monitor every gesture and action of residents by

enhanced security

Suggestion

an enhanced security

brings about more benefits than drawbacks. I recommend that those technologies should be developed better in the future.

Submitted by hlong18.vn on Sun Jun 30 2019

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

361 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Surveillance
2. Monitoring
3. Cell phone tracking
4. Security cameras
5. Public safety
6. Law enforcement
7. Privacy concerns
8. Personal freedom
9. Autonomous
10. Breach of trust
11. Misuse of information
12. Institutional integrity
13. Psychological impact
14. Mental well-being
15. Societal trust
16. Paranoia
17. Transparency
18. Stringent regulations
19. Criminal deterrence
20. Apprehension of criminals

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