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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that education system is the only critical factor to development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #education #system #factor #development #country
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It is generally accepted that the
education
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 is need of
modern world
Suggestion
the modern world
. Some people have the view that good
education
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system
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 provides
base
Suggestion
a base
the base
 for the progress of a
country
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 while others deny it. In my opinion
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 and natural resources
are
Suggestion
are also providing
have also provided
also
Linking Words
 provide support to reach
required level
Suggestion
the required level
a required level
 of development.
To begin
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 with, science and technology is the result of
good
Suggestion
a good education system
education
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system
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. Science means to study something deeply from different angles and to do research
.
Accept space
.
Thus
Linking Words
, the availability of
high standard
Suggestion
the high standard
a high standard
high standards
 of universities give base to get the targeted goals in different field's of life.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the technological inventions give proof to all chain literacy.
For instance
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, China was not a developed
country
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 before two decades because
majority chunkof
Suggestion
the majority chunk of
majority chunk of
a majority chunk of
 people were illiterate, after making a good
education
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system
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 they become a world power.
In contrast
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,
health
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 facilities and the use of natural resources in a proper way is more important than
good
Suggestion
a good education system
education
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system
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 for any
country
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. It is
saying
Suggestion
said
 that
health
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 is wealth. For good
health
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 hospitals and medicines are the crucial factors.
In addition
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, natural resources are precious wealth of any
country
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 which are important for
independency
freedom from control or influence of another or others
independence
 in different areas.
Such
Linking Words
 as, Arab countries do not have
good
Suggestion
a good education system, but
a good education system but
education
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system
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 but their natural resources of oil make them different in the world and they are enjoying
development
Suggestion
the development
 of their
country
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, with the above in mind, high level of
education
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system
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 is important
for
Suggestion
For
 the
progress but
Accept comma addition
progress, but
health
Use synonyms
 facilities and natural resources provide
base
Suggestion
a base
the base
bases
.
Submitted by Nadia majid on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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